Well, at least I come by my political interests honestly, although the source of my particular affiliation is in question...
So my biological Dad (an independent-minded conservative) and I exchange political e-mails all the time. Normally I just chuckle and let them slide, but he sent one last night that I couldn't help but send a response to. Then he responded to my response, and I...well, you get the drift. It's been a fun exchange so far, so I thought I'd give all of you out there in SG land an unedited look at what we have so far. Enjoy.
___
Dad's initial e-mail (a forward):
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion.
That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens.
We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine, and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology,
Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle-up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this?
If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S.
Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
__
My reply (edited from an e-mail circulated in Democratic circles prior to the election):
Our response?
Dear Red States,
We're prepared to make a counter-offer. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. Thanks to the results of the 2008 election, we're also laying claim to Iowa, Virginia, North Carolina, Florida, Colorado, New Mexico, and even Indiana as well.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and, especially, to the people of the new country. Since we're dropping the most divisive of the states, we're calling it United America, or simply the U.A.
To sum up briefly, Red States: you get Texas, Oklahoma and most of the former slave states. We get the best stem cell research centers and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. You can take Ted Nugent. We're keeping Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel. You get WorldCom. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get Ole' Miss. We get Harvard and 85 percent of America's venture capital companies and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the federal tax revenue, while you get to make the remaining Red States pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the fundamentalist Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms, and the highest concentration of pregnant unwed teenagers. Please be aware that the U.A. will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our young people back from Iraq as soon as possible. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals to help. If you choose to stay there, we do wish you success in Iraq, and we hope that the WMDs turn up. Really we do, but we're not willing to spend another cent of our resources in Bush's Personal Quagmire. We'd rather spend it on taking care of sick people and educating our children.
With the Blue States united in U.A., we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water; more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce; 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit; 95 percent of America's quality wines; 90 percent of all cheese; 90 percent of the high tech industry; most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal; all living redwoods, sequoias and condors; all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. The Red States, on the other hand, will have 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected lifetime health care costs); 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes; nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes; 90 percent of the hurricanes; 99 percent of all "creationist-only" Southern Baptists; virtually 100 percent of all televangelists; Rush Limbaugh; and Bob Jones University, along with their infamous and non-existent medical and law schools. We get that money-machine called Hollywood and the natural wonder called Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those remaining in the Red States believe that it's not a parable, but that Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale; 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the Iraq war, the death penalty or any kind of gun-control law; 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, not a scientifically proven fact; 53 percent believe that Saddam was definitely involved in, if not a direct perpetrator of 9/11; and 61 percent of you crazy Reddies believe that you are people with higher moral standards then we Blueies.
Finally, we're taking all the good, clean, organically-grown, medicinal pot, too. You can have that dirty weed they grow in Mexico, which for eight years you haven't been able to stop from flooding across the southern border any more than you've been able to stop illegal immigration, after spending billions trying.
Peace out, Red States.
Sincerely,
The Blue States
__
Dad's response to my reply:
Our response: Bless You!
We accept!
Dear Blue States, For the last 138 years we have believed that you have deserved to have your own nation and to run it as you see fit. And to address your concerns, in order, we do believe that you should take the results of the 2008 election as a benchmark. You are more than welcome to California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, Iowa, Virginia, North Carolina, Florida, Colorado, New Mexico, Indiana, and the Northeast. That should take care of most of the illegal immigration, welfare, and unemployment problems we have been forced to pay for. And, true, all we will be left with are the former slave states plus Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, North and South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Utah, Arizona, and Alaska. That does mean we will loose the auto giants, the oil in Pennsylvania, Silicon Valley, the citrus groves in Florida and California, the iron mines in Michigan, and the gold mines in Nevada. Also true is the fact that you will have the Statue of Liberty, the venture capital companies (check where the venture capital comes from), and two thirds of the tax revenue (since you will have two thirds of the population that is only right). We will be, of course, retaining the mineral, oil, coal, and gas reserves in Alaska, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, North and South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Utah, and Arizona. We will also retain the farm and ranch land that produces almost thirty percent of the world's food (I am taking for granted that we can use that for a domestic product to produce some income since not everyone needs a computer but almost everyone eats). Granted, Ford, GM, and Chrysler products would now be imported products so I guess most of us would have to start driving domestic vehicles. You know Mercedes, BMW, Toyota, and Nissan. We will be loosing Boeing but we will retain McDonald Douglas. And, since we will be establishing our own Social Security and Welfare syste ms, I'm sure most of our conservative, Christian, rednecks will be willing to stop paying welfare recipients for reproducing and to force anyone that is going to be drawing government benefits to prove that they are a citizen (either by birth or naturalization). That should save us a little bit of money and should cut down on the unwed birth rate to some extent and illegal immigration since welfare checks and food stamps will be reserved for those who can't take care of themselves and not for those that refuse to take care of themselves. The Social Security system will also be reformed to be an individual account for the contributor, not a government slush fund, with all money's belonging solely to the contributor. If you put nothing in, as in the case of illegal immigrants, you get nothing out. If you've been paying in for the last fifty years your money is always there for you and your posterity. Your country will have some beautiful beaches but then again, most of us like warm water. We will still have South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas. You will have the Great Lakes (the greatest reserves of fresh water in the world) but we will still have the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers and a few sorted and sundry other sources of fresh water. You will have the wine country but most old rednecks don't drink wine anyway. They drink beer and whiskey. I think we can figure out how to make that domestically. As far and the conservative Christian element is concerned I think you underestimate them. Most of us believe in the foundation that our original country was founded on. That being freedom of religion. We have a right to believe what want to ( you will notice that I said right not privilege). If you want to believe the world is flat and that the sun rises in the east that is your right. You simply do not have the right to impose your beliefs, or lack of beliefs on me. You can practice your religion, or lack of religion, in any way you see fit as long as you are not trying to impose it on, or harming, anyone else. Addressing gun control, or the lack thereof. The right to keep and bear arms if there for several reasons. Primary of these are so we can protect our selves form our own government. All governments have power (by definition), and power seeks power, that's human nature. All governments, throughout history, at some point have (or will) reach the point of being tyrants. When the government no longer rules with the consent of the governed it is time for a change. In order to make that change the people have to have the force of arms to equal the government. That's why our original country was founded on the premise that there would be no standing army and that we had the right (not privilege) to keep and bear arms. There was no "army" we were the army and, hopefully, we wouldn't do anything to persecute ourselves. As far as you country being peace loving, better be careful, check your history. Neither the Blue nor the Red are saints. And as far as little George you're right. He isn't the brightest crayon in the box. He was simply the lesser of the two evils. No one I know wanted this foreign war. We did want the terrorism to stop and we did want the perpetrators to be punished but we wanted to get it done and get out. We have no business in this protracted foreign war. Concerning the pot, who cares. I hope your country will have liberal immigration laws. Those people here in the Red Country that find our way of life to hard and demanding will be welcomed to immigrate to your United America with all of their belongings and possessions and start a new life and enjoy all of your love and care and freedom. And if any of your states should have a change of heart and decide that they would prefer our way of life they will be welcomed with open arms. Should any of the Red States have a similar change of heart and want to join you I would hope you would extend them the same courtesy. That's the beauty of a democratic republic form of government. The people get to make up their own minds about what they want. Sincerely, The Red States
___
My reply to his response to my reply to his....(radda radda)
Dear Red States,
Did you really learn nothing from the last time you tried this? This is a disappointing, but not entirely unexpected, turn of events. But since we're in no mood to fight with you over this again, we've decided to give you exactly what you think you want.
We'll keep the New Deal and the Great Society; you're welcome to take George W. Bush and the failed economic policies of Herbert Hoover with you.
Yes, we will be liberalizing our immigration laws, since we remember that we are, in fact, a nation of immigrants (just as you are.) The primary reason why illegal immigration is a problem is that 1) our current laws aren't being enforced, and 2) our current system isn't allowing enough documented foreign workers in to handle the demand. Besides, the overwhelming majority of immigrants work hard, pay taxes, and play by the rules; who are we to tell them they're unwelcome here? We already have a system in place to deal with the tiny minority who don't play by the rules: it's called the courts.
As far as those "redistributive" taxes you're always chafing about, you're absolutely right. They're being redistributed from the blue states to the red ones. Don't believe us? Let's take a look at the winners and losers, according to the Tax Foundation:
States Receiving Most in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:
1. D.C. ($6.17)
2. North Dakota ($2.03)
3. New Mexico ($1.89)
4. Mississippi ($1.84)
5. Alaska ($1.82)
6. West Virginia ($1.74)
7. Montana ($1.64)
8. Alabama ($1.61)
9. South Dakota ($1.59)
10. Arkansas ($1.53)
States Receiving Least in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:
1. New Jersey ($0.62)
2. Connecticut ($0.64)
3. New Hampshire ($0.68)
4. Nevada ($0.73)
5. Illinois ($0.77)
6. Minnesota ($0.77)
7. Colorado ($0.79)
8. Massachusetts ($0.79)
9. California ($0.81)
10. New York ($0.81)
...so again we say, best of luck. Its not your money, its our money. What was that about self-reliance? Try this on for self-reliance: buy your own stop signs.
While we will miss Mardi Gras, we think it will be interesting to see what it becomes once Pat Robertson, James Dobson, and the Moral Majority gets through with it. While we hope that your "Fat Tuesday Bible Study and Tent Revival" is a smashing success for you, we regret to inform you we won't be attending.
We have no objection to you practicing any religion you see fit. It only crosses the line when you start twisting the law to reflect your particular theological point of view. The First Amendment (which we'll be keeping too, by the way) clearly states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." We're not forcing anything on you, so quit trying to impose your beliefs on us.
Your Second Amendment arguments are moot as well. We respect the Constitution and the rule of law. And those "damned liberal judges" you're always complaining about ruled in District of Columbia v. Heller that an individual right to bear arms is supported by "the historical narrative" both before and after the Second Amendment was adopted. The Constitution does not permit "the absolute prohibition of handguns held and used for self-defense in the home." The court also struck down D.C.'s requirement that firearms be equipped with trigger locks or kept disassembled, but left intact the licensing of guns. So unless there's some serious movement afoot to repeal the Second Amendment that we're unaware of, your right to keep and bear arms is not, nor has it ever been, in any serious jeopardy.
And as far as Iraq goes, how many times do we have to say it? Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction. Your arguments linking it to "terrorism" are, therefore, moot. So far, this war has killed 4,236 American troops and a staggering 99,431 Iraqi civilians, and is on track to cost the US taxpayers $3 TRILLION. You claim "no one wanted" this foreign war, but your President clearly did--and "the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy." Don't believe us? Read the Downing Street Memos. So again we say, we're out, but you're of course welcome to stay there another 100 years if you wish.
Just so you know, there are no hard feelings on our part. When your blind allegiance to laissez-faire capitalism leads you to inevitable economic ruin, we'll resist the temptation to say we told you so. When your unchecked aggression and resistance to rule of law turns you into an international pariah state, we'll consider putting in a good word for you at the United Nations that you apparently don't intend to join. When you finally realize that the whole of the United States of America was more than the sum of its parts, we'll be happy to come back and "reconstruct" you a second time.
But until that day comes, just remember that this was what you wished for. Good luck, Red States. You're going to need it.
Sincerely,
United America
So my biological Dad (an independent-minded conservative) and I exchange political e-mails all the time. Normally I just chuckle and let them slide, but he sent one last night that I couldn't help but send a response to. Then he responded to my response, and I...well, you get the drift. It's been a fun exchange so far, so I thought I'd give all of you out there in SG land an unedited look at what we have so far. Enjoy.
___
Dad's initial e-mail (a forward):
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion.
That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens.
We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
You can make nice with Iran and Palestine, and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.
We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology,
Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.
You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.
We'll practice trickle-down economics, and you can give trickle-up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this?
If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely, John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S.
Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.
__
My reply (edited from an e-mail circulated in Democratic circles prior to the election):
Our response?
Dear Red States,
We're prepared to make a counter-offer. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. Thanks to the results of the 2008 election, we're also laying claim to Iowa, Virginia, North Carolina, Florida, Colorado, New Mexico, and even Indiana as well.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and, especially, to the people of the new country. Since we're dropping the most divisive of the states, we're calling it United America, or simply the U.A.
To sum up briefly, Red States: you get Texas, Oklahoma and most of the former slave states. We get the best stem cell research centers and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. You can take Ted Nugent. We're keeping Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel. You get WorldCom. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get Ole' Miss. We get Harvard and 85 percent of America's venture capital companies and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the federal tax revenue, while you get to make the remaining Red States pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the fundamentalist Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms, and the highest concentration of pregnant unwed teenagers. Please be aware that the U.A. will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our young people back from Iraq as soon as possible. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals to help. If you choose to stay there, we do wish you success in Iraq, and we hope that the WMDs turn up. Really we do, but we're not willing to spend another cent of our resources in Bush's Personal Quagmire. We'd rather spend it on taking care of sick people and educating our children.
With the Blue States united in U.A., we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water; more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce; 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit; 95 percent of America's quality wines; 90 percent of all cheese; 90 percent of the high tech industry; most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal; all living redwoods, sequoias and condors; all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools, plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. The Red States, on the other hand, will have 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected lifetime health care costs); 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes; nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes; 90 percent of the hurricanes; 99 percent of all "creationist-only" Southern Baptists; virtually 100 percent of all televangelists; Rush Limbaugh; and Bob Jones University, along with their infamous and non-existent medical and law schools. We get that money-machine called Hollywood and the natural wonder called Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those remaining in the Red States believe that it's not a parable, but that Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale; 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the Iraq war, the death penalty or any kind of gun-control law; 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, not a scientifically proven fact; 53 percent believe that Saddam was definitely involved in, if not a direct perpetrator of 9/11; and 61 percent of you crazy Reddies believe that you are people with higher moral standards then we Blueies.
Finally, we're taking all the good, clean, organically-grown, medicinal pot, too. You can have that dirty weed they grow in Mexico, which for eight years you haven't been able to stop from flooding across the southern border any more than you've been able to stop illegal immigration, after spending billions trying.
Peace out, Red States.
Sincerely,
The Blue States
__
Dad's response to my reply:
Our response: Bless You!
We accept!
Dear Blue States, For the last 138 years we have believed that you have deserved to have your own nation and to run it as you see fit. And to address your concerns, in order, we do believe that you should take the results of the 2008 election as a benchmark. You are more than welcome to California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, Iowa, Virginia, North Carolina, Florida, Colorado, New Mexico, Indiana, and the Northeast. That should take care of most of the illegal immigration, welfare, and unemployment problems we have been forced to pay for. And, true, all we will be left with are the former slave states plus Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, North and South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Utah, Arizona, and Alaska. That does mean we will loose the auto giants, the oil in Pennsylvania, Silicon Valley, the citrus groves in Florida and California, the iron mines in Michigan, and the gold mines in Nevada. Also true is the fact that you will have the Statue of Liberty, the venture capital companies (check where the venture capital comes from), and two thirds of the tax revenue (since you will have two thirds of the population that is only right). We will be, of course, retaining the mineral, oil, coal, and gas reserves in Alaska, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri, North and South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho, Utah, and Arizona. We will also retain the farm and ranch land that produces almost thirty percent of the world's food (I am taking for granted that we can use that for a domestic product to produce some income since not everyone needs a computer but almost everyone eats). Granted, Ford, GM, and Chrysler products would now be imported products so I guess most of us would have to start driving domestic vehicles. You know Mercedes, BMW, Toyota, and Nissan. We will be loosing Boeing but we will retain McDonald Douglas. And, since we will be establishing our own Social Security and Welfare syste ms, I'm sure most of our conservative, Christian, rednecks will be willing to stop paying welfare recipients for reproducing and to force anyone that is going to be drawing government benefits to prove that they are a citizen (either by birth or naturalization). That should save us a little bit of money and should cut down on the unwed birth rate to some extent and illegal immigration since welfare checks and food stamps will be reserved for those who can't take care of themselves and not for those that refuse to take care of themselves. The Social Security system will also be reformed to be an individual account for the contributor, not a government slush fund, with all money's belonging solely to the contributor. If you put nothing in, as in the case of illegal immigrants, you get nothing out. If you've been paying in for the last fifty years your money is always there for you and your posterity. Your country will have some beautiful beaches but then again, most of us like warm water. We will still have South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas. You will have the Great Lakes (the greatest reserves of fresh water in the world) but we will still have the Mississippi and Missouri Rivers and a few sorted and sundry other sources of fresh water. You will have the wine country but most old rednecks don't drink wine anyway. They drink beer and whiskey. I think we can figure out how to make that domestically. As far and the conservative Christian element is concerned I think you underestimate them. Most of us believe in the foundation that our original country was founded on. That being freedom of religion. We have a right to believe what want to ( you will notice that I said right not privilege). If you want to believe the world is flat and that the sun rises in the east that is your right. You simply do not have the right to impose your beliefs, or lack of beliefs on me. You can practice your religion, or lack of religion, in any way you see fit as long as you are not trying to impose it on, or harming, anyone else. Addressing gun control, or the lack thereof. The right to keep and bear arms if there for several reasons. Primary of these are so we can protect our selves form our own government. All governments have power (by definition), and power seeks power, that's human nature. All governments, throughout history, at some point have (or will) reach the point of being tyrants. When the government no longer rules with the consent of the governed it is time for a change. In order to make that change the people have to have the force of arms to equal the government. That's why our original country was founded on the premise that there would be no standing army and that we had the right (not privilege) to keep and bear arms. There was no "army" we were the army and, hopefully, we wouldn't do anything to persecute ourselves. As far as you country being peace loving, better be careful, check your history. Neither the Blue nor the Red are saints. And as far as little George you're right. He isn't the brightest crayon in the box. He was simply the lesser of the two evils. No one I know wanted this foreign war. We did want the terrorism to stop and we did want the perpetrators to be punished but we wanted to get it done and get out. We have no business in this protracted foreign war. Concerning the pot, who cares. I hope your country will have liberal immigration laws. Those people here in the Red Country that find our way of life to hard and demanding will be welcomed to immigrate to your United America with all of their belongings and possessions and start a new life and enjoy all of your love and care and freedom. And if any of your states should have a change of heart and decide that they would prefer our way of life they will be welcomed with open arms. Should any of the Red States have a similar change of heart and want to join you I would hope you would extend them the same courtesy. That's the beauty of a democratic republic form of government. The people get to make up their own minds about what they want. Sincerely, The Red States
___
My reply to his response to my reply to his....(radda radda)
Dear Red States,
Did you really learn nothing from the last time you tried this? This is a disappointing, but not entirely unexpected, turn of events. But since we're in no mood to fight with you over this again, we've decided to give you exactly what you think you want.
We'll keep the New Deal and the Great Society; you're welcome to take George W. Bush and the failed economic policies of Herbert Hoover with you.
Yes, we will be liberalizing our immigration laws, since we remember that we are, in fact, a nation of immigrants (just as you are.) The primary reason why illegal immigration is a problem is that 1) our current laws aren't being enforced, and 2) our current system isn't allowing enough documented foreign workers in to handle the demand. Besides, the overwhelming majority of immigrants work hard, pay taxes, and play by the rules; who are we to tell them they're unwelcome here? We already have a system in place to deal with the tiny minority who don't play by the rules: it's called the courts.
As far as those "redistributive" taxes you're always chafing about, you're absolutely right. They're being redistributed from the blue states to the red ones. Don't believe us? Let's take a look at the winners and losers, according to the Tax Foundation:
States Receiving Most in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:
1. D.C. ($6.17)
2. North Dakota ($2.03)
3. New Mexico ($1.89)
4. Mississippi ($1.84)
5. Alaska ($1.82)
6. West Virginia ($1.74)
7. Montana ($1.64)
8. Alabama ($1.61)
9. South Dakota ($1.59)
10. Arkansas ($1.53)
States Receiving Least in Federal Spending Per Dollar of Federal Taxes Paid:
1. New Jersey ($0.62)
2. Connecticut ($0.64)
3. New Hampshire ($0.68)
4. Nevada ($0.73)
5. Illinois ($0.77)
6. Minnesota ($0.77)
7. Colorado ($0.79)
8. Massachusetts ($0.79)
9. California ($0.81)
10. New York ($0.81)
...so again we say, best of luck. Its not your money, its our money. What was that about self-reliance? Try this on for self-reliance: buy your own stop signs.
While we will miss Mardi Gras, we think it will be interesting to see what it becomes once Pat Robertson, James Dobson, and the Moral Majority gets through with it. While we hope that your "Fat Tuesday Bible Study and Tent Revival" is a smashing success for you, we regret to inform you we won't be attending.
We have no objection to you practicing any religion you see fit. It only crosses the line when you start twisting the law to reflect your particular theological point of view. The First Amendment (which we'll be keeping too, by the way) clearly states that "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." We're not forcing anything on you, so quit trying to impose your beliefs on us.
Your Second Amendment arguments are moot as well. We respect the Constitution and the rule of law. And those "damned liberal judges" you're always complaining about ruled in District of Columbia v. Heller that an individual right to bear arms is supported by "the historical narrative" both before and after the Second Amendment was adopted. The Constitution does not permit "the absolute prohibition of handguns held and used for self-defense in the home." The court also struck down D.C.'s requirement that firearms be equipped with trigger locks or kept disassembled, but left intact the licensing of guns. So unless there's some serious movement afoot to repeal the Second Amendment that we're unaware of, your right to keep and bear arms is not, nor has it ever been, in any serious jeopardy.
And as far as Iraq goes, how many times do we have to say it? Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction. Your arguments linking it to "terrorism" are, therefore, moot. So far, this war has killed 4,236 American troops and a staggering 99,431 Iraqi civilians, and is on track to cost the US taxpayers $3 TRILLION. You claim "no one wanted" this foreign war, but your President clearly did--and "the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy." Don't believe us? Read the Downing Street Memos. So again we say, we're out, but you're of course welcome to stay there another 100 years if you wish.
Just so you know, there are no hard feelings on our part. When your blind allegiance to laissez-faire capitalism leads you to inevitable economic ruin, we'll resist the temptation to say we told you so. When your unchecked aggression and resistance to rule of law turns you into an international pariah state, we'll consider putting in a good word for you at the United Nations that you apparently don't intend to join. When you finally realize that the whole of the United States of America was more than the sum of its parts, we'll be happy to come back and "reconstruct" you a second time.
But until that day comes, just remember that this was what you wished for. Good luck, Red States. You're going to need it.
Sincerely,
United America
phrogg:
I need to catch up on your blogs. And with you too. Are you presently in Barnwell?
phrogg:
Job hunting is calamatous. I can't even get a job in pizza delivery - and I have experience!