arrgh!!! the shit just never ends!
my new (used) 1974 mercedes that i just got a few weeks ago, that the guy promised was in good condition (and it seemed so) just blew up on me last night, literally! and as i coasted it up into my apartment's driveway i was unable to get it all the way in because of the steep incline, so it was sticking half way up the driveway and half way out into the street...
[sidenote: i live on the most dangerous street in hollywood, across from the hollywood bowl where, though it's residential, since it parallels the 101 freeway, people drive 60 miles an hour on it and my driveway is on a blind curve, so no exaggeration when i say we see at LEAST one major accident a week right in front of my building!]
... so, smoke is pouring out from underneath the car, the back of the car and from the hood. i run upstairs to call the fire department when all of a sudden i hear a screech and a crash and sure enough, a motorcyclist in an attempt to avoid my car slams into an SUV! Luckily nobody was hurt, but the motorcycle is totalled (he's insured), my car is dead and i don't even have a girlfriend or anyone to just hug me and say "hey, it will all be ok". more happened early that day that i can't get into because i will break down in tears; this was just the ending of my night...
i am SO sick of this stupid life. i have so much more to contribute than having to constantly deal with fucking stupid obstacles that come up for no reason. and yeah, yeah, i've heard it all, "shit happens" and "everything happens for a reason" well that's all BULLSHIT! especially when i see assholes like my neighbor who is the typical hollywood asshole (which means he's a midwestern transplant who came out here to "make it" in acting and now he thinks he runs the town!) who has a different girl over everynight, and i hear him tell them "you're the only one babe" (and he says that to them all) and he drives a brand new lexus, doesn't work a job at all cause he lives off his parents money, and contributes absolutely NOTHING to this world other than shit and disease (literally, three of the girls found out that he was cheating on them and they did confront him in person right outside my door...they said he gave them an STD and he laughed, shrugged it off and slammed the door in their face... cause he is a parisite and doesn't give a shit!) and the fucked thing is, he isn't the rare exception, he seems to be the common majority in this shit town. and i have always tried so hard to be good and to put other people before me and to always be honest and help people while struggling to do the many things that i apparently supposedly have talents in, and for what? just to get knocked on my ass over and over again while fucking parasite assholes can go around and do what they want and fuck people over!!!
well FUCK THAT!
[sorry, i am obviously more than a little angry right now, please forgive me]
my new (used) 1974 mercedes that i just got a few weeks ago, that the guy promised was in good condition (and it seemed so) just blew up on me last night, literally! and as i coasted it up into my apartment's driveway i was unable to get it all the way in because of the steep incline, so it was sticking half way up the driveway and half way out into the street...
[sidenote: i live on the most dangerous street in hollywood, across from the hollywood bowl where, though it's residential, since it parallels the 101 freeway, people drive 60 miles an hour on it and my driveway is on a blind curve, so no exaggeration when i say we see at LEAST one major accident a week right in front of my building!]
... so, smoke is pouring out from underneath the car, the back of the car and from the hood. i run upstairs to call the fire department when all of a sudden i hear a screech and a crash and sure enough, a motorcyclist in an attempt to avoid my car slams into an SUV! Luckily nobody was hurt, but the motorcycle is totalled (he's insured), my car is dead and i don't even have a girlfriend or anyone to just hug me and say "hey, it will all be ok". more happened early that day that i can't get into because i will break down in tears; this was just the ending of my night...
i am SO sick of this stupid life. i have so much more to contribute than having to constantly deal with fucking stupid obstacles that come up for no reason. and yeah, yeah, i've heard it all, "shit happens" and "everything happens for a reason" well that's all BULLSHIT! especially when i see assholes like my neighbor who is the typical hollywood asshole (which means he's a midwestern transplant who came out here to "make it" in acting and now he thinks he runs the town!) who has a different girl over everynight, and i hear him tell them "you're the only one babe" (and he says that to them all) and he drives a brand new lexus, doesn't work a job at all cause he lives off his parents money, and contributes absolutely NOTHING to this world other than shit and disease (literally, three of the girls found out that he was cheating on them and they did confront him in person right outside my door...they said he gave them an STD and he laughed, shrugged it off and slammed the door in their face... cause he is a parisite and doesn't give a shit!) and the fucked thing is, he isn't the rare exception, he seems to be the common majority in this shit town. and i have always tried so hard to be good and to put other people before me and to always be honest and help people while struggling to do the many things that i apparently supposedly have talents in, and for what? just to get knocked on my ass over and over again while fucking parasite assholes can go around and do what they want and fuck people over!!!
well FUCK THAT!
[sorry, i am obviously more than a little angry right now, please forgive me]
poor little genshi
*hug* hey, it will be ok.
come over to the coast where people are at least marginally more real.
don't be scared of tears and bursting, it feels good sometimes. no?