genevalw

ok so here is the deal......Craig my bf left for Chicago on Saturday morning......I felt so lost without him......

last night.....I broke down....I was depressed and called my ex of two years who was really pissed at me (Randy) and half expected him to just yell at me or not anser the phone.....anyhow...he decided to get a drink with me at the pool hall in Wixom. I met him there...there was some awkward conversations...three cocktails later....with the snow and all he asked me to stay at his place.....which I did. (Keep in mind Randy had been my only real friend and a long term relationship for three years plus up until a little over 2 weeks ago. When we decided to separate, not because I didn't love him, but because we had become two totally different people and he couldn't give me the life I wanted, and I couldn't provide for both of us, and I wanted kids, and he didn't...etc). Anyhow......he knew I was kinda seeing someone but I didn't bring it up that I was craig's gf because I knew it would piss him off and hurt him. So when we get back to his place.....I finally got the hug that I had been needing and wanting and he agreed to cuddle with me until I fell asleep. Well....some time passes and we end up kissing ( I think he touched my breasts...but whatever).....like making out kissing only it didn't go anyfurther than that because I wouldn't let it....and well...i guess the phrase is I am "under construction" Immediately after Randy tried to get me to well...let things excalate to an oral level...I told him no...that I couldn't...and then I got really upset and started crying and tried to explain the entire thing to him.......well....so now...I feel like crap...I don't want to lose Craig who I really want to be with and I don't know what to tell him....I guess what I did isn't the worst I could have done but still......What should I do? I love my bf.....