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fuctupkornfan131

Brussels

Member Since 2011

Followers 22 Following 40

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Tuesday May 21, 2013

May 21, 2013
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Life can throw a lot of shit at you very quickly...
At the beginning of the month my mom died, it was really sudden and I'm still trying to avoid dealing with it. I guess I dealt with it the way I deal with most problems and blew most of my money on cocaine... I'm now a proud Hundredaire and it really sucks having to be careful as fuck with money...

Anyway, about 2 weeks ago I checked myself into an intensive rehab and I've never been this determined to get sober (even if I feel like shit).

Since my mom died, my family has really become what seems completely different. I honestly don't feel like I have a family anymore. Each time I talk to any of them, I realize how little they care for me and how badly they want me out o their lives.

So today is my first day at yet again another detox centre and where I'm going next is very uncertain.... the future has never been this scary.

Rehab seems kind of redundant because 've noticed a lot of changes in myself. I really don't feel like being irresponsible and intoxicated all the time and I no longer act immature at every opportunity. I don't really know what to do, all I can think of is how great it would be to leave this fucking country and never come back and to never have to hear another family member politely tell me to fuck off while they piss on my mom's memory and pretend to grieve. I've never hated or been so disgusted by the behaviour of the people around me before, my moms funeral seemed more like a BBQ than a ceremony.

Fuck it, when life gives you lemon's, piss in a cup and give tell people it's lemon aide, drink up

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