how to find jesus...
When finding Jesus, most look to the bible for answers. Fuck no Jesus ain't in no fucking bible. Yes, 'tis true the bible tells of Jesus, but he's not there. For Jesus is an elusive bastard. Much too elusive for an obvious hiding place as the bible. No, you musn't look in any ancient religious documents. Being the sly, tricky mother-fucker, that Jesus is, you will find him with other sly, tricky mother-fuckers. No he's not with that guy from the used car shop... dumb-ass... I'm talking about someone with great skills of trickery and deceit. Someone with the ability of not being seen (to learn the art of not being seen please refer to Monty Python's And Now For Something Completely Different). To find Jesus, you must first find Waldo... yes... Waldo... For he holds the key to finding Jesus. You must look through the sacred books of Waldo and that is how you find Jesus. Then Jesus will give you all the answers you need. But when you're done with Jesus it would be in your best interest to lose him somewhere... cuz if he hangs around it's kinda cool at first... grab some bottles of water and get drunk. it's great... but eventually he's hitting you up for money and then before you know it you're sister's knocked up and your tv is gone. now... i have no idea how to lose Jesus after he's found, so that's up to you. he punches old ladies too... so i guess you shouldn't find Jesus... he's a dick.
When finding Jesus, most look to the bible for answers. Fuck no Jesus ain't in no fucking bible. Yes, 'tis true the bible tells of Jesus, but he's not there. For Jesus is an elusive bastard. Much too elusive for an obvious hiding place as the bible. No, you musn't look in any ancient religious documents. Being the sly, tricky mother-fucker, that Jesus is, you will find him with other sly, tricky mother-fuckers. No he's not with that guy from the used car shop... dumb-ass... I'm talking about someone with great skills of trickery and deceit. Someone with the ability of not being seen (to learn the art of not being seen please refer to Monty Python's And Now For Something Completely Different). To find Jesus, you must first find Waldo... yes... Waldo... For he holds the key to finding Jesus. You must look through the sacred books of Waldo and that is how you find Jesus. Then Jesus will give you all the answers you need. But when you're done with Jesus it would be in your best interest to lose him somewhere... cuz if he hangs around it's kinda cool at first... grab some bottles of water and get drunk. it's great... but eventually he's hitting you up for money and then before you know it you're sister's knocked up and your tv is gone. now... i have no idea how to lose Jesus after he's found, so that's up to you. he punches old ladies too... so i guess you shouldn't find Jesus... he's a dick.