Friday May 28, 2004

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So the interesting thing about N. and myself is that we both wish to not be serious. To just kind of date other people because we have both tended to be in relationships and haven't dated around much. We were both very happy to find that out. Yes, I'm 34 and I don't want to settle down right now smile
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ginacherry:
Cool, sounds like it went well. wink Hope it continues...
the_cheat:
Friends with benefits...you mean like a fuck buddy? tongue I had a fuck buddy once...it was fun while it lasted...got too complicated tho. surreal

Thursday May 27, 2004

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Quiet day. Hiked to North Beach, only to find that the equipment store at music 101 was closed, so I guess I hike back tommorow. 3.5 days w/o smoking. N. and I will probably see Yo La Tengo this weekend, that will be super cool. I'm still basking in the afterglow of a good date smile
binkymcqueen:


"GOOD DATES KICK ASS.....CARRY ON"
the_cheat:
Go Fluffy Go!

*cheers*

Wednesday May 26, 2004

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The violence thing is going away (which always makes me happy) to be replaced with general body pain. Smoking is just bad....
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just got done climbing. General body pain replaced by "Owww, my shoulders hurt"....
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I have a date tonight....

With N. She had family visiting so it will be 2 weeks between date 1 and 2...

Hopefully the chemistry I remember is...
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bbkaro:
Aces. Life is good.
kay:
(grin) It is all about the outfits! wink

Good on you for the date. You need something to make you smile more often.


~beauty

Tuesday May 25, 2004

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3 weeks unemployed. I keep waiting for something to happen. It's not going to. It's up to me, I guess.

also, i've become addicted to zyzzlyx.org, my best friends blog. Except it's all about weird records he finds....

cool stuff (and some crap, I'm chris, the major commenter)

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Nicotine withdrawl is the most painful think I regularly do. The pain and the mood swings...
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binkymcqueen:
Awww....switch to cloves...less nicotine and smelling fresh....Sucks to be unemployed...I endured a year of that...and it sucked...but I learned a lot of things about the core of who I am....you will find something...( yeah, that really helps cold) ....sheesh.....good luck
binkymcqueen:
American Psycho anyone????? word to the wise....never put that in writing....with your luck you will be the unemployed guy who is on tv for suspension of an ex turning up in the dead pool.....careful what you wish for..

Monday May 24, 2004

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And alcohol is STILL such a bad idea....

A thought has been running through my head:

If you always do what you've always done, why are you surprised to get what you've always gotten.

Meaning, it's time for me to start seriously working on my life. Or something. Not sure yet.

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I've made some good friends here...
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kay:
Do they not refer to that as neurotic behaviour? The act of doing something over and over again, expecting a different response? I cannot recall.

Fate has a peculiar sense of humour in that she will continue to bring us the plate repeatedly until we finish the meal.

Meaning until you learn, really learn the lesson, it will be revisited upon you, until you cannot stand deal with it again.

It is funny that you posted that today, as I was just reflecting on the same thing, and while I know the answer, I still have had the plate brought back to me. Perhaps today will be the last day I see it again? I do hope.

Good luck my dear, it is those daunting patterns that keep us humble at times. wink

~cheers
trixel:
My ex-fiance used to say that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing in the same way and expecting different results. surreal

You know though, I read your entries and I'm reminded of something my best (and final) therapist told me. I have an all or nothing attitude. She told me you don't start life anywhere. There's no day when it all begins. It's happening now. kiss

Saturday May 22, 2004

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Feeling mostly better. Still a little tired. I'm hoping to go to Yosemite next week, so it's time to start planning, cleaning, packing...

Been inside for most of the last week. Must go do something....

I think I'm going to take a short SG vacation before it eats my brain.
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the_cheat:
lol, hope you have fun on your trip. it's good to get away every once in a while.

I might need to take a break from SG as well... eeek
trixel:
Enjoy your trip. smile

And remember, SG in moderation. confused

*HUG*

Friday May 21, 2004

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Feeling a bit sick still. My lungs don't want to clean out. Another happy day in bet trying to get unsick. Maybe i climbed a little too hard at the gym yesterday.

Yay, Trixel is back!! She's the one who got me here in the first place, things wouldn't be the same w/o her.

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another day of laying around hanging out on SG. Had...
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ginacherry:
You should check out the rest of the album...it is near perfect...smile
trixel:
Hello mr! I hope your lungs feel better today. smile

I'm off to my silly pen and paper game with only 3 and a half hours sleep. Want to stay in bed. *cry*

Thursday May 20, 2004

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Lately, I've been hit by this huge wave of self-doubt. And insomnia. I've slept about 6 hours in 2 days. Maybe the whole "Dude, you got laid off" hammer is starting to drop on my head. I act like I'm on vacation, but the fact is I'm unemployed. To much self-worth tied up in my job. Not enough tried up in the fact that I'm...
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trixel:
...and I ask myself the same thing daily. robot

Off to eat crappy Prairie sushi, pulled fresh from the oceans of wheat! surreal
ginacherry:
YOu sound liek you feel all over the place....this is not meant to discourage you..but isnt trying to quit smoking like SUPER DUPER hard? Sounds like you need to be good to yourself right now....so fuck it..have a cheeseburger....smoke a little...you gotta take care of your mental state first...don't be so hard on yourself ..smile PEACE

Wednesday May 19, 2004

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Yay! Not sick. Insomnia last night so I barely slept, and I'm tired and dehydrated, but hey, I'm not sick. And thanks to various picture posting I'm horny as hell but too tired to do anything about it.

Wish me luck today as I actually leave the apartment....

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Oh, and let me re-iterate: yesterday I took and put up in my pics section my...
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pihka:
Theres a photography group here somewhere, Im sure you can get good advice from there- also, maybe the themes been discussed in the suicideboys group? I dont know, I havent been following it at all. Just make sure that youve got a good and original idea, good settings and good lightning and work from there....
maxx:
Every once in a while I find a man who likes Fishing with John.
I know they are a good person with impeccable taste.

here's to you sir.

Tuesday May 18, 2004

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Almost not sick!!!!

I'm torn between going out and having a real live and spending all my time on suicide girls. I have an idea for a SG:NHS essay.

Hopefully, though, my sg activity will decrease as I try to develop a normal life......

Anyone in SF want a date biggrin
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I was wrong about DebraJean Danger. Shades of Richard Kern and Lydia Lunch. Insanely...
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kay:
Which is indeed better than a Pringle's whore! smile

Yes, I would concur with the surviving it statement!


~cheers
mqx:
She's the bomb, yo, as they say. What even cooler now is all the scars and dirt marks she's picked up traveling.
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