The violence thing is going away (which always makes me happy) to be replaced with general body pain. Smoking is just bad....
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just got done climbing. General body pain replaced by "Owww, my shoulders hurt"....
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I have a date tonight....
With N. She had family visiting so it will be 2 weeks between date 1 and 2...
Hopefully the chemistry I remember is...
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just got done climbing. General body pain replaced by "Owww, my shoulders hurt"....
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I have a date tonight....
With N. She had family visiting so it will be 2 weeks between date 1 and 2...
Hopefully the chemistry I remember is...
Read More
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
3 weeks unemployed. I keep waiting for something to happen. It's not going to. It's up to me, I guess.
also, i've become addicted to zyzzlyx.org, my best friends blog. Except it's all about weird records he finds....
cool stuff (and some crap, I'm chris, the major commenter)
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Nicotine withdrawl is the most painful think I regularly do. The pain and the mood swings...
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also, i've become addicted to zyzzlyx.org, my best friends blog. Except it's all about weird records he finds....
cool stuff (and some crap, I'm chris, the major commenter)
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Nicotine withdrawl is the most painful think I regularly do. The pain and the mood swings...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
binkymcqueen:
Awww....switch to cloves...less nicotine and smelling fresh....Sucks to be unemployed...I endured a year of that...and it sucked...but I learned a lot of things about the core of who I am....you will find something...( yeah, that really helps cold) ....sheesh.....good luck
binkymcqueen:
American Psycho anyone????? word to the wise....never put that in writing....with your luck you will be the unemployed guy who is on tv for suspension of an ex turning up in the dead pool.....careful what you wish for..
And alcohol is STILL such a bad idea....
A thought has been running through my head:
If you always do what you've always done, why are you surprised to get what you've always gotten.
Meaning, it's time for me to start seriously working on my life. Or something. Not sure yet.
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I've made some good friends here...
A thought has been running through my head:
If you always do what you've always done, why are you surprised to get what you've always gotten.
Meaning, it's time for me to start seriously working on my life. Or something. Not sure yet.
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I've made some good friends here...
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
kay:
Do they not refer to that as neurotic behaviour? The act of doing something over and over again, expecting a different response? I cannot recall.
Fate has a peculiar sense of humour in that she will continue to bring us the plate repeatedly until we finish the meal.
Meaning until you learn, really learn the lesson, it will be revisited upon you, until you cannot stand deal with it again.
It is funny that you posted that today, as I was just reflecting on the same thing, and while I know the answer, I still have had the plate brought back to me. Perhaps today will be the last day I see it again? I do hope.
Good luck my dear, it is those daunting patterns that keep us humble at times.
~cheers
Fate has a peculiar sense of humour in that she will continue to bring us the plate repeatedly until we finish the meal.
Meaning until you learn, really learn the lesson, it will be revisited upon you, until you cannot stand deal with it again.
It is funny that you posted that today, as I was just reflecting on the same thing, and while I know the answer, I still have had the plate brought back to me. Perhaps today will be the last day I see it again? I do hope.
Good luck my dear, it is those daunting patterns that keep us humble at times.
~cheers
trixel:
My ex-fiance used to say that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing in the same way and expecting different results. 
You know though, I read your entries and I'm reminded of something my best (and final) therapist told me. I have an all or nothing attitude. She told me you don't start life anywhere. There's no day when it all begins. It's happening now.
You know though, I read your entries and I'm reminded of something my best (and final) therapist told me. I have an all or nothing attitude. She told me you don't start life anywhere. There's no day when it all begins. It's happening now.
Feeling mostly better. Still a little tired. I'm hoping to go to Yosemite next week, so it's time to start planning, cleaning, packing...
Been inside for most of the last week. Must go do something....
I think I'm going to take a short SG vacation before it eats my brain.
Been inside for most of the last week. Must go do something....
I think I'm going to take a short SG vacation before it eats my brain.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
the_cheat:
lol, hope you have fun on your trip. it's good to get away every once in a while.
I might need to take a break from SG as well...
I might need to take a break from SG as well...
trixel:
Enjoy your trip. 
And remember, SG in moderation.
*HUG*
And remember, SG in moderation.
*HUG*
Feeling a bit sick still. My lungs don't want to clean out. Another happy day in bet trying to get unsick. Maybe i climbed a little too hard at the gym yesterday.
Yay, Trixel is back!! She's the one who got me here in the first place, things wouldn't be the same w/o her.
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another day of laying around hanging out on SG. Had...
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Yay, Trixel is back!! She's the one who got me here in the first place, things wouldn't be the same w/o her.
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another day of laying around hanging out on SG. Had...
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ginacherry:
You should check out the rest of the album...it is near perfect...
trixel:
Hello mr! I hope your lungs feel better today.
I'm off to my silly pen and paper game with only 3 and a half hours sleep. Want to stay in bed. *cry*
I'm off to my silly pen and paper game with only 3 and a half hours sleep. Want to stay in bed. *cry*
Lately, I've been hit by this huge wave of self-doubt. And insomnia. I've slept about 6 hours in 2 days. Maybe the whole "Dude, you got laid off" hammer is starting to drop on my head. I act like I'm on vacation, but the fact is I'm unemployed. To much self-worth tied up in my job. Not enough tried up in the fact that I'm...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
trixel:
...and I ask myself the same thing daily. 
Off to eat crappy Prairie sushi, pulled fresh from the oceans of wheat!
Off to eat crappy Prairie sushi, pulled fresh from the oceans of wheat!
ginacherry:
YOu sound liek you feel all over the place....this is not meant to discourage you..but isnt trying to quit smoking like SUPER DUPER hard? Sounds like you need to be good to yourself right now....so fuck it..have a cheeseburger....smoke a little...you gotta take care of your mental state first...don't be so hard on yourself .. PEACE
PEACEYay! Not sick. Insomnia last night so I barely slept, and I'm tired and dehydrated, but hey, I'm not sick. And thanks to various picture posting I'm horny as hell but too tired to do anything about it.
Wish me luck today as I actually leave the apartment....
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Oh, and let me re-iterate: yesterday I took and put up in my pics section my...
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Wish me luck today as I actually leave the apartment....
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Oh, and let me re-iterate: yesterday I took and put up in my pics section my...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
pihka:
Theres a photography group here somewhere, Im sure you can get good advice from there- also, maybe the themes been discussed in the suicideboys group? I dont know, I havent been following it at all. Just make sure that youve got a good and original idea, good settings and good lightning and work from there....
maxx:
Every once in a while I find a man who likes Fishing with John.
I know they are a good person with impeccable taste.
here's to you sir.
I know they are a good person with impeccable taste.
here's to you sir.
Almost not sick!!!!
I'm torn between going out and having a real live and spending all my time on suicide girls. I have an idea for a SG:NHS essay.
Hopefully, though, my sg activity will decrease as I try to develop a normal life......
Anyone in SF want a date
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I was wrong about DebraJean Danger. Shades of Richard Kern and Lydia Lunch. Insanely...
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I'm torn between going out and having a real live and spending all my time on suicide girls. I have an idea for a SG:NHS essay.
Hopefully, though, my sg activity will decrease as I try to develop a normal life......
Anyone in SF want a date
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I was wrong about DebraJean Danger. Shades of Richard Kern and Lydia Lunch. Insanely...
Read More
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
kay:
Which is indeed better than a Pringle's whore!
Yes, I would concur with the surviving it statement!
~cheers
Yes, I would concur with the surviving it statement!
~cheers
mqx:
She's the bomb, yo, as they say. What even cooler now is all the scars and dirt marks she's picked up traveling.
Less sick. Maybe I'll feel human again tomorrow and I can go back to climbing....
Argh. Pihka isn't gay. Now I feel even sillier for having a little crush on her. I'm so used to having silly crushes on gay girls. Ah well. I think I still want to be Pihka's dream girl, just as a boy I'm under no illusions of luring her to...
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Argh. Pihka isn't gay. Now I feel even sillier for having a little crush on her. I'm so used to having silly crushes on gay girls. Ah well. I think I still want to be Pihka's dream girl, just as a boy
I'm under no illusions of luring her to... Read More
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
kay:
Oi! Sorry. I am really thinking I need some sleep! If it were a snake, it would have bit me.
I understand that completely.
I understand that completely.
trixel:
cute as hell. that is all.
My friend Daniel returned my Monty Python DVD's, and a pretty good dvd of climbing in Yosemite he got by mistake. And to top it off, he copied "Space is the Place", the incredible Sun Ra science fiction movie, for me.
I'm still sick. Kinda bummed cause I've been healthy for a few months. Time to start eating right and quit smoking and drinking.
I've...
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I'm still sick. Kinda bummed cause I've been healthy for a few months. Time to start eating right and quit smoking and drinking.
I've...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kay:
(laughter) Indeed, it is good to have a pocket weasel if you can find one. I'm still trying to figure out how to write it down so on my resume without it sounding like a porn toy.
~beauty
~beauty
pihka:
Im not gay, Im bi. Still, I can see how it would be hard for you to be the girl of my dreams. 
Yeah, it means resin. Well, firstable, its a lovely smell (especially the resin of the evergreen trees), and makes a good incense base, and its sticky and lovely, and furthermore, in Finnish it also has this double meaning- you can say that you are pihkassa, "in resin" or "resined", in somebody when youve got a crush on somebody. I think its cute.
Yeah, it means resin. Well, firstable, its a lovely smell (especially the resin of the evergreen trees), and makes a good incense base, and its sticky and lovely, and furthermore, in Finnish it also has this double meaning- you can say that you are pihkassa, "in resin" or "resined", in somebody when youve got a crush on somebody. I think its cute.
Sick and in withdrawl. Yeah yeah yeah, I know. I'm a moron. Somehow it's easier to quit smoking when you are sick though, and right now I'll take what I can get...
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Man, I was getting sick of that trailer...
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Been sick and in bed all day, reading SG. Living the lives of others, vicariously getting thrill instead of getting them on my...
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Man, I was getting sick of that trailer...
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Been sick and in bed all day, reading SG. Living the lives of others, vicariously getting thrill instead of getting them on my...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
pihka:
Homely as in cosy and thriving-at-home.
pihka:
From "Chambers Dictionary of Synonyms and Antonyms",
homely- adj. comfortable, cosy, domestic, everyday, familiar, folksy, friendly, homelike, homespun, informal, intimate, modest, natural, ordinary, plain, relaxed, simple, snug, unassuming, unpretentious.
You Americans speak a twisted language. This is how the Brits use the word, also, how my old English teacher used the word back at school.
homely- adj. comfortable, cosy, domestic, everyday, familiar, folksy, friendly, homelike, homespun, informal, intimate, modest, natural, ordinary, plain, relaxed, simple, snug, unassuming, unpretentious.
You Americans speak a twisted language.
This is how the Brits use the word, also, how my old English teacher used the word back at school. It's an interesting moment when you realize that a woman you've always had a thing for just wouldn't be worth the trouble. I'm getting old. I realize that some women are just better as friends and trying to jump them is stupid...
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"I feel like a pig shat in my brain"
-withnail
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Alcohol is such a bad idea...
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I wanna work for...
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"I feel like a pig shat in my brain"
-withnail
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Alcohol is such a bad idea...
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I wanna work for...
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Good on you for the date. You need something to make you smile more often.
~beauty