I'm not old, I'll admit. Still, I can feel the effects of aging, mentally and physically, hitting me like a sack of turnips. Big turnips. It's probably a big sack, too. 'Cause I feel too old!
Example #1: I can't drink like I used to.
Not only can I not drink like I used to, I can't drink at all. last night I had three beers and it's taken all the strength I can muster to crawl out of bed and shlep my sagging-self over to the computer to beg for your sympathy. What's happened to me? At 19 I could drink 8-10 beers and still have enough presence of mind to sweet-talk a girl into the guest room of my friend Sam's house. (His mother's house, actually. She frequently spent the night at her boyfriends place, leaving the house available for us to throw the occasional Pajama Jammy Jam.) Last night I failed to sweet-talk myself out of my jeans before stumbling to bed.
Example #2: I'm no longer a horny, lecherous drunk.
At the bar last night, a barback friend of mine introduced me a cute, friendly young woman who was equally as drunk as I was (which was only moderately so, by that time). We conversed for at least an hour, as she told me about herself, her schooling and her long-term goals and I contently listened (and listened, and listened). Over that hour, she'd progressed from steady eye contact to the occasional hand on my shoulder or gentle squeeze of my arm. So, what do you think I did as she expressed an interest in leaving? Well I didn't! I just didn't have the energy or desire. I thanked for a nice conversation and commented that we'd likely meet again. How lame is that?
Example #3: I no longer have single friends.
Just the other day, I realized as I was scrolling through names in my cellphone that practically all of my friends are couples. They're all in long-term relationships, many have married or are engaged, almost all of them live together and a few of them have children! It's not that I'm not interested in any of these things, but I'm not done doing all those things you're supposed to do before settling down. And now I'm worried about waking up one day with the realization that I'm 45 and long past due for the requisite wife and 3.5.
I could bring up many more examples, but staring at the screen for this long is hurting my fragile, aging eyes. I'm pooped and headed back to bed.
Example #1: I can't drink like I used to.
Not only can I not drink like I used to, I can't drink at all. last night I had three beers and it's taken all the strength I can muster to crawl out of bed and shlep my sagging-self over to the computer to beg for your sympathy. What's happened to me? At 19 I could drink 8-10 beers and still have enough presence of mind to sweet-talk a girl into the guest room of my friend Sam's house. (His mother's house, actually. She frequently spent the night at her boyfriends place, leaving the house available for us to throw the occasional Pajama Jammy Jam.) Last night I failed to sweet-talk myself out of my jeans before stumbling to bed.
Example #2: I'm no longer a horny, lecherous drunk.
At the bar last night, a barback friend of mine introduced me a cute, friendly young woman who was equally as drunk as I was (which was only moderately so, by that time). We conversed for at least an hour, as she told me about herself, her schooling and her long-term goals and I contently listened (and listened, and listened). Over that hour, she'd progressed from steady eye contact to the occasional hand on my shoulder or gentle squeeze of my arm. So, what do you think I did as she expressed an interest in leaving? Well I didn't! I just didn't have the energy or desire. I thanked for a nice conversation and commented that we'd likely meet again. How lame is that?
Example #3: I no longer have single friends.
Just the other day, I realized as I was scrolling through names in my cellphone that practically all of my friends are couples. They're all in long-term relationships, many have married or are engaged, almost all of them live together and a few of them have children! It's not that I'm not interested in any of these things, but I'm not done doing all those things you're supposed to do before settling down. And now I'm worried about waking up one day with the realization that I'm 45 and long past due for the requisite wife and 3.5.
I could bring up many more examples, but staring at the screen for this long is hurting my fragile, aging eyes. I'm pooped and headed back to bed.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
heh.
this will be worth a chuckle tomorrow night.