There are just a few things that I know that I can post on here that I cannot post anywhere else, and it has been a little while since I have just done a blog blog, and not include photos. This is one of those blogs, one without photos and a lot of words. So here we go.
I have been an official empty nester (meaning no kids at home anymore, at all, period) which is nice, because yes, I am only 36 years old and I have what I hope to be a long professional life and a lot of fun from here on out. And I really should be enjoying things, enjoying what the future has for me. I have a lot of things that I could be looking up for, from working at Virginia Tech and Yale (Spring and Summer) teaching classes to possible exhibitions and planned exhibitions (one exhibition in November which will be introducing the We Are All We Have Tonight collection in full for a solo show for the first time) to a few news articles that are being wrote about me and that collection. I am excited about it all and everything, all that is coming up. But it seems like I cannot get that excited because of the fact that no one else is excited about them or for me. It sucks...like I can talk all day to someone about it, and all that I get is "oh...okay cool. But did I tell you about my deal???" IF I get anything at all.
Like a prime example, I was talking to my step father today, mentioned that Sam and I might be moving before the end of the year, and all he wanted to do was to talk to me about their yard sale this weekend and their potential move, never once asking me WHY we were moving or why we wouldn't be buying anything at their sale because we are thinking about sizing down our self, for the move.
I also talked to Sam a little bit back about it and it all seems to go back to her. This doesn't even start to cover my real father, whom I told a few weeks back and he didn't even acknowledge me, and I actually never heard from him since I told him to be completely honest.
I am just...wish someone would be happy for me. I have these things coming up, one last possible grant for this year, two contests, one that is in regards to the above work, that I feel like I have a really good chance of doing good at.
Just...it is just...things...it would be nice to have someone who I could share in the joy and happiness and excitement of everything that I am going through. Like Virginia Tech, they said it wasn't a 100% but more like a 90%, because the class has to go through the processes of scheduling etc. through the department. I mean, we are already talking about me having to do new paperwork because the work that I filled out before was two years ago. Yeah, that is the thing, I have had (for those of you who are counting) two classes offered to me prior to this one. First one, two years ago, was canceled because of lack of enrollment. Then, last spring I was offered a class, that I had to turn down because I was supposed to make the decision and basically move in 48 hours after being offered the class. That was just something that I couldn't do at the time. However, now, with a few months of notice, time to continue to save a few extra bucks, get rid of a few things around here, it makes the move SO much easier. Hell, I might be getting a settlement/winning a court case against my old employer that will help even that much more, so that we can move, and it would mean that the job at Tech, because I would be nothing more than an Adjunct, wouldn't be a straight loss because of pay, but a brand new experience and give me the start of the teaching experience that I need for college. Hell, it might even be the start of a longer gig at Tech, or give me a little something more for Yale, which I am supposed be confirmed on next month for the summer.
Like the contest, if I get into the top 200 of this, it would be career changing for me and my photography, and the top 50 outside of that...damn. I wouldn't even know where to begin to start. I mean, I don't even know what the odds are for me being in the top 200, but still, when two of the people I included in my MFA, two photographers who I respect to refer to them as mentors and as inspiration for my own collections really like the work, even as far as LOVING some 7 out of 10 images that I showed them. That is something I would think, since these photographers work for publications like the New York Times, National Geographic, Guggenheim Fellows, Time Magazine Photographer of the Year, etc. etc. etc. the list just goes on and on and on...and they really really really like the work. People at B&H Photo and Video like it...and it just seems like I am getting no love from the people around me. That is what hurts the most. Also, It seems like the photo shoots have stopped for the collection. At least for now. I just don't know what to do.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent everyone. Love you all. Till next time, which should be a photo dump for the collection...
Fast.
