S.....,
Not being the most comfortable on the phone I can accept. I didn't want you to feel like you couldn't just call anytime for the heck of it without first at least thinking about whether I might come over and all. As far as being an imposition, don't lie to me, company (any company) is an imposition. Not to say that it's not worth it - but, cooking or no, cleaning the house or no, it is still an imposition, even if it's just putting your game face on,
or just not wanting to fart in front of company. Is it worth it to have me over? Damned straight it is, just try to get rid of me.
Of course you're nervous about going to the shrink, thinking about it too much. We all do. I still remember sitting around thinking up my "speech" for the doctor. How do I convey that I'm in trouble, and yet not so much trouble that he gets too concerned about it. I tried to run through about a million different scenarios in my head, it's natural (or at least I do it, I don't know if "normal" people do it to quite the same extent and all). And god, going into the office the first time and not knowing what to expect, checking in with the receptionist, sitting in some damned uncomfortable chair, trying to check out the other people in the waiting area without them seeing, staring at outdated office furnishings (wood paneling, are you serious?), realizing you just sat in the one chair that isn't within arms reach of the magazines that you really don't want to read anyway, and all the while terrified, exactly because you don't know what's going to really go down.
I was about to leave a comment on one of the SG girls sets "Bad News" of "If it Bleeds it Leads." referring to the fact that her set "Bad News" was worthy of a front-page spot, when I realized that she might take that comment in an entirely different context. So instead I left the comment "Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." She should appreciate that.
So, throughout my previous e-mails I tried to answer the question "How do you lay your whole life out on the table?" by trying to put myself in your shoes, and also by trying to give some possible inspiration. Also, it's just great therapy for me to put this stuff out there. And after that, I am of course no closer to finding a magic answer that I can give. Maybe I can understand a little better though.
Not being the most comfortable on the phone I can accept. I didn't want you to feel like you couldn't just call anytime for the heck of it without first at least thinking about whether I might come over and all. As far as being an imposition, don't lie to me, company (any company) is an imposition. Not to say that it's not worth it - but, cooking or no, cleaning the house or no, it is still an imposition, even if it's just putting your game face on,
or just not wanting to fart in front of company. Is it worth it to have me over? Damned straight it is, just try to get rid of me.
Of course you're nervous about going to the shrink, thinking about it too much. We all do. I still remember sitting around thinking up my "speech" for the doctor. How do I convey that I'm in trouble, and yet not so much trouble that he gets too concerned about it. I tried to run through about a million different scenarios in my head, it's natural (or at least I do it, I don't know if "normal" people do it to quite the same extent and all). And god, going into the office the first time and not knowing what to expect, checking in with the receptionist, sitting in some damned uncomfortable chair, trying to check out the other people in the waiting area without them seeing, staring at outdated office furnishings (wood paneling, are you serious?), realizing you just sat in the one chair that isn't within arms reach of the magazines that you really don't want to read anyway, and all the while terrified, exactly because you don't know what's going to really go down.
I was about to leave a comment on one of the SG girls sets "Bad News" of "If it Bleeds it Leads." referring to the fact that her set "Bad News" was worthy of a front-page spot, when I realized that she might take that comment in an entirely different context. So instead I left the comment "Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." She should appreciate that.
So, throughout my previous e-mails I tried to answer the question "How do you lay your whole life out on the table?" by trying to put myself in your shoes, and also by trying to give some possible inspiration. Also, it's just great therapy for me to put this stuff out there. And after that, I am of course no closer to finding a magic answer that I can give. Maybe I can understand a little better though.
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xoxox