eventide

weeks slide seamlessly by. its good. like being on the beach. but without the water. or sand. or sun. mostly im calm again. but theres this like secret there. in me. almost like an itch. no. more like a jewel. i dream of pieces which , seem brilliant when i wake up , so i write them all down, and know that 2 hours later they will seem weak., but for the life of me i cant imagine why. they are BRILLIANT. but then in 2 hours they really are sort of ... i dont know. actually there is always SOMething to them....
anyway, weaning off the chemicals. it- the mess- still bites sometimes. zero contact with either of them. only here (in nagen). nicole was here for a week. no, two weeks. i mean twice for a week. its like having a sister around, a roommate. except we have sex. god , very relaxed. shes so quiet. i hardly know her , . still, its very comfortable. she is bombed out from her past. needs to slide too. i think shes coming again on her way north. but it, none of it, has anything to do with IT.
and h comes next week for a new production-starting . very looking forward to it. no expectations. shes great. living with babis the dj now. converting my house into his house. 18 years went into 16 boxes. away now. in my german attic... love to yu all.