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yes, its true. much has changed.
for one thing im happy

for another i am working on a new evening length piece

auditions in new york, paris, istanbul and berlin.,. if you want to audition.

see www.palindrome.de

and , um then theres delphine.

we are working hard not to be a pair. sometimes failing.

but

shes not my girlfriend.
friend, yes.
girl, oh yes....

ohsoordinary:
I will do my very best, but I am quite penniless. I'll figure out a way.
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glance on an ocean ferry


i'm changing my colors
no more pastels -- les couleurs vive!
accented with grey, like ash.
reminder of what i was.

my new language is french.
i wear sunglasses, drink wine, smoke cigarettes.
i have the best fucking french teacher in the world you know.
only she doesnt, at least not with me.
and the really funny part is i...
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ohsoordinary:
It's sounds like a little joy has entered your life. That makes me happy. You deserve it.
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ode to an hour

i missed it today-
do you see my point?
we cannot live like this
the sun setting golden and clear
without us
the scent of flowers was in the air
and we did not smell them
or feel the warm breeze on our faces.
instead we worked
never looking up from our screens
accomplishing a lot of nothing
as it turned...
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ohsoordinary:
Time spent regretting is wasted if an equal amount of time is not spent making a change.
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my goal is to become someone else.

i would like to change something at the core of my being.

and then i would set out again, on foot this time
and re-arrange the whole place, person by person.

with love, see? and i would no longer be holding my breath.

someone told me once that to be re-born a person must first die a death...
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ohsoordinary:
There is always time.
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i do talk to you. what do you think this blog is wink

im home. just got. i mean, its home, as much as anything. the room in the farm house in hohenstadt.

ten day workshop starts tomorrow. just keep working!!!!! no thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yey...
ohsoordinary:
I'm glad to see and entry from you. I hope your workshop is fun.
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thing is , worke up disappointed, and so i go to sleep that way. nothing really happened between then and now.
but what should? life?
i am in Estonia, now directing an opera. i look outside this hotel window and see northern stars.
i am bored i guess. no time to see this land. no time to meet its people. they are blonde and wear stockings...
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ohsoordinary:
I'd like it if you didn't. Why don't you talk to me a bit?
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heeeyyyyyy everyone! i plan to kill myself. im not a girl, i know, but it seems fitting.
anyway.
i think its illegal.,., ha ha. who cares?!
you probably think im down. but its not like that. its just that i think ive had enough. ij sort of "get it". you know?
theres some things that change, and some things that dont -- at least not without...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
ohsoordinary:
I really don't think you should. Would you be willing to talk to me more? Maybe privately?
eventide:
i know. most people would say that. im ok. ill wait a bit. but if i dont, please dont take it personally. its not a lack of -- experience or evidence. ive seen a LOT. and i dont think im miss reading the signs. but thanks anyway. thats sweet of u.
ive decided to leave this city first. i know too many people. here. too many contacts. thats why i like sg. i can really feel thoroughly disconnected here. i could vanish from here without making the slightest ripple... like a hot bath on the top of a snowy mountain...
except you i mean ; )
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i had a dream
which was not all a dream
the bright sun was extinguish'd
and the stars did wander

i too had a dream
i was a king, and my reign was ending
through an invasion
and all my captains and friends had left
i was alone in this big house

and i knew that i was supposed to pack up my best...
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ohsoordinary:

eventidesaid:
life does indeed feel pretty battle-like these days...



More so than you know.

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hey you non -existants! hey!

ok: oh so ordinary...

i dont, of course, know what kind of burning
other people carry in their hearts
but it seems to me
that to be an artist takes two things

one is technique
and the other is this
what i feel tonight
and

have over many many years
namely, a kind of pain in life
or, unhappiness, or...
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sassie:
thank you for the comment on my set!
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ohsoordinary:
Tell me about this!
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workshop is almost over. one more session. a month is much too long - i don't know what i was thinking. or what they were thinking. in a sense it depends - on how independent they are. how much they can embrace the ethic of solo artist. the credo. the paradigm. with me , or without me. as if zen alone could provide that.
(which it can...
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