well, i work pretty hard at this. finding friends. oh, im working too hard? oh, not hard enough? oh, i need to relax? oh. oh well.
i could go into a bar and talk to a stranger. great idea. they would be unfriendy. most people are. some arent. how can you spot them? oh i know, the friendly ones are with other people. their having a great time and arent about to take kindly to being interrupted by a stranger. whats with him? he must want something from us.... . they smile politely, but can hardly wait for me to leave.
oh well, i dont quite have this figured out yet. this thing , , , social life.
im working on it . in my spare time. sg is one thing. lets see.... what else? i talk to people sometimes before or after movies. i compliment them on things. see if i can get them to relax. open up a bit. try not to scare them. oooh its hard. ive tried it 10,000 times. rough estimate. sometimes they will have a coffe with me, or let me drive them home. sometimes they just sort of dump me straight off. hmm. oh well. i know its nothing to do with me. im just a normal guy. normal guy. normal life. i do my work. i go home. help a friend by feeding their cat. listen to the radio. work. sleep.
of course, i must be pretty odd. .. right? otherwise.,., i d have a house and a wife. .. otherwise i would like christmas. . . have friends. . not be a be a fucking artist.
some would say, of course, i am the luckiest guy in the world!!!!!! they admire me. how i get to..... its true of course. my work , i know, is pretty cool. .. its just lonely as shit.
one man, a famous and rich professor, the head of a large music program in a big university. a chinese man, i was having dinner with him. in a chinese restaurant. we had these, like fried spinach leaves, and you dipped them in these sauces. delicious, but i looked down at my place and it was a total mess. then i looked at his and NOT A SPOT. not one crumb. totally amazing. so i am about to say to him, how i admired his self discipline -- when he says to me "robert, i want to tell you, i admire your self discipline". like he read my mind. so i asked why. he said, you have stayed true to your art. you still actually do it. i know only people who when they got older, they slip into other professions and abandoned the art form itself.
so i didnt say anything about his eating habits. i just felt humbled.
its funny how how we look to other people, and then to ourselves. isnt it?
so different.
i rehearsed today. a bit. choreographed. yey. i have an idea about something. a couple of things. have to orgainze the film shoot better in january. meet the cellist. lift my head off my chest.
i could go into a bar and talk to a stranger. great idea. they would be unfriendy. most people are. some arent. how can you spot them? oh i know, the friendly ones are with other people. their having a great time and arent about to take kindly to being interrupted by a stranger. whats with him? he must want something from us.... . they smile politely, but can hardly wait for me to leave.
oh well, i dont quite have this figured out yet. this thing , , , social life.
im working on it . in my spare time. sg is one thing. lets see.... what else? i talk to people sometimes before or after movies. i compliment them on things. see if i can get them to relax. open up a bit. try not to scare them. oooh its hard. ive tried it 10,000 times. rough estimate. sometimes they will have a coffe with me, or let me drive them home. sometimes they just sort of dump me straight off. hmm. oh well. i know its nothing to do with me. im just a normal guy. normal guy. normal life. i do my work. i go home. help a friend by feeding their cat. listen to the radio. work. sleep.
of course, i must be pretty odd. .. right? otherwise.,., i d have a house and a wife. .. otherwise i would like christmas. . . have friends. . not be a be a fucking artist.
some would say, of course, i am the luckiest guy in the world!!!!!! they admire me. how i get to..... its true of course. my work , i know, is pretty cool. .. its just lonely as shit.
one man, a famous and rich professor, the head of a large music program in a big university. a chinese man, i was having dinner with him. in a chinese restaurant. we had these, like fried spinach leaves, and you dipped them in these sauces. delicious, but i looked down at my place and it was a total mess. then i looked at his and NOT A SPOT. not one crumb. totally amazing. so i am about to say to him, how i admired his self discipline -- when he says to me "robert, i want to tell you, i admire your self discipline". like he read my mind. so i asked why. he said, you have stayed true to your art. you still actually do it. i know only people who when they got older, they slip into other professions and abandoned the art form itself.
so i didnt say anything about his eating habits. i just felt humbled.
its funny how how we look to other people, and then to ourselves. isnt it?
so different.
i rehearsed today. a bit. choreographed. yey. i have an idea about something. a couple of things. have to orgainze the film shoot better in january. meet the cellist. lift my head off my chest.