fuck fuckity fuck fuck
alone, as usual.. i hate it
does anyone hate christmas as much as i do?
i doubt it. i hate it PASSIONATELY !
How do i hate thee? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when i ever i hear those songs.
I hate thee to the level of...
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alone, as usual.. i hate it
does anyone hate christmas as much as i do?
i doubt it. i hate it PASSIONATELY !
How do i hate thee? Let me count the ways.
I hate thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when i ever i hear those songs.
I hate thee to the level of...
Read More
listen carefully
the pads on the bottoms of my feet
thick from so many years of dancing
make the same sound as the cats
as i climb the linoleum stairs
it was to be my last
i know
but i woke up from a dream
and know that i am still alive
my heart, i mean
she was my next door neighbor
someone ive known...
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the pads on the bottoms of my feet
thick from so many years of dancing
make the same sound as the cats
as i climb the linoleum stairs
it was to be my last
i know
but i woke up from a dream
and know that i am still alive
my heart, i mean
she was my next door neighbor
someone ive known...
Read More
This is my last post:
ok. so its 117, in estonia, and im lattitudinally jet lagged, so im not sure what this worth, but
i feel like i can say it.
finally.
the ultimate truth.
but first, isnt it strange that i would think such a thing? such a childish notion! that writing or saying anything can be important or have meaning. ha ha!
ok,...
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ok. so its 117, in estonia, and im lattitudinally jet lagged, so im not sure what this worth, but
i feel like i can say it.
finally.
the ultimate truth.
but first, isnt it strange that i would think such a thing? such a childish notion! that writing or saying anything can be important or have meaning. ha ha!
ok,...
Read More
cool day. i keep getting these bursts of ... i dont know... inspiration.
i feel like something is coming up.
i didnt go outside all day. didnt stretch or do yoga. once.
2 of my 5 accounts are maxed out in debt. and im alone in this world. and still i feel quite ok.
strange.
something helena smsed me yesterday, "we chant to keep back...
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i feel like something is coming up.
i didnt go outside all day. didnt stretch or do yoga. once.
2 of my 5 accounts are maxed out in debt. and im alone in this world. and still i feel quite ok.
strange.
something helena smsed me yesterday, "we chant to keep back...
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i go studio
and work, for hours on some dumb thing
stopping sometimes to wonder at it all
and
the thing is...
whether is it art or not,
it is anyway
like water, my medium
and
when at night i feel that inspiration feeling
that so much is possible
a kind of a vision thing
-God-
well, then i know there is some sense in...
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and work, for hours on some dumb thing
stopping sometimes to wonder at it all
and
the thing is...
whether is it art or not,
it is anyway
like water, my medium
and
when at night i feel that inspiration feeling
that so much is possible
a kind of a vision thing
-God-
well, then i know there is some sense in...
Read More
we actually spoke. im still shaken. but its ok. now i can tick it off my list. write big. ask tree. i use code words for It. in 3 months i will try again. i offer her work. its what she can understand.
ok, back to life. processed a kilo of fine herb. no no i dont smoke. its just a ... thing i do....
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ok, back to life. processed a kilo of fine herb. no no i dont smoke. its just a ... thing i do....
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ohsoordinary:
This is your ex, that you're talking about?
o this thing called art-
the answer to all the riddles
dancing in the periphery of my vision
just as it did, what, 20 years ago, when i started this quest.
it has the same allure, and promise. the same mystery.
mystery, yes, because to be honest, it is still not there
quite
i know that it is not the same as feelings
even these...
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the answer to all the riddles
dancing in the periphery of my vision
just as it did, what, 20 years ago, when i started this quest.
it has the same allure, and promise. the same mystery.
mystery, yes, because to be honest, it is still not there
quite
i know that it is not the same as feelings
even these...
Read More
recorded the cows today.
later
in the house
the farmer stood in the doorway like a rock
with my headphones on
fascinated.
imagine,
fascinated by the sounds of his own cows,
as if he'd never heard them before.
and i wondered if he heard something there that i did not.
maybe he could read in the sound of their breath
an opinion
about the food,...
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later
in the house
the farmer stood in the doorway like a rock
with my headphones on
fascinated.
imagine,
fascinated by the sounds of his own cows,
as if he'd never heard them before.
and i wondered if he heard something there that i did not.
maybe he could read in the sound of their breath
an opinion
about the food,...
Read More
ohsoordinary:
That's really cool. He probably never realized how much he loved them until you did that.
lets see, there's spain, bremen, chris, leeds.,., fleur, tree.,., karel, there's shoes to finish building, and a book to finish writing. theres plans for a new article, theres pot to process.., ... helena to talk to. manu and olivia to visit. std nbg to finish application for... um.. 60 things to apply to and book cello gigs. and oklo to finish. ...
for a broke...
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for a broke...
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ohsoordinary:
I send you good vibes,
((((((( vibes )))))))
((((((( vibes )))))))
ive been meaning to say this for some time now
it may be the moon of course
which, when i came into the house tonight, i tried to find the lightswitch for
(save electricity. global warming and all)
am i endager of loosing my dreams?
is there any chance she will say yes?
not much.
i havent sent it yet, but each day i say...
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it may be the moon of course
which, when i came into the house tonight, i tried to find the lightswitch for
(save electricity. global warming and all)
am i endager of loosing my dreams?
is there any chance she will say yes?
not much.
i havent sent it yet, but each day i say...
Read More
4 letters: s u r e.
not the longest letter ive ever received. but "sure" is pretty good.
obviously it depends on the question. can i sleep with you tonight? or, if send a letter to this address, will it get to you? still, im happy to have heard from her. yes, i know, im one sick duck, but how do you know if the...
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not the longest letter ive ever received. but "sure" is pretty good.
obviously it depends on the question. can i sleep with you tonight? or, if send a letter to this address, will it get to you? still, im happy to have heard from her. yes, i know, im one sick duck, but how do you know if the... Read More
eventide:
i went to the studio on my day off today. ("day off" from going to the studio i mean). not that i train that long and hard these days.,.,., but i am consistent!! came home high from choreography. this new loop is staggering. well, to me. today. i can hardly wait till fleur comes. MONDAY!!! then we dance till we drop. so much to do try . notes. and then theres big. and the letter. isnt that funny? i mean, in the sense of typical life irony. that now when i finally have her permission and her address, and a letter that has been approved by my closesst friends, exactly now, after so many days of thinking about it, burning about it, , that after all that, two years of all that, i have the chance and suddenly, IN THAT VERY MOMENT im not so sure anymore. i offer 20,000 clams for the project. and my right arm and my life blood. i think ill send it though. of course i will. i have to. i think. still the pause it interesting .
you know the kurasawa film woman of the dunes (maybe its not kurasawa)? the last scene. he finds the way out. he can escape, but doesnt. something has put it in perspective.
you know the kurasawa film woman of the dunes (maybe its not kurasawa)? the last scene. he finds the way out. he can escape, but doesnt. something has put it in perspective.
ohsoordinary:
Making love in forest. Sounds... complicated.
its not a place anyone is likely to ever find me...
ok, you know the story of the catapillar and his transformation,
i believe that is me. and this grass jungle, way down here, beneath your feet
it has served me well.
but it is almost time for the re-emergence-. something i feel. i feel tonight.
by sitting, and thinking as strongly as my physicist...
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ok, you know the story of the catapillar and his transformation,
i believe that is me. and this grass jungle, way down here, beneath your feet
it has served me well.
but it is almost time for the re-emergence-. something i feel. i feel tonight.
by sitting, and thinking as strongly as my physicist...
Read More