i'm changing my colors
no more pastels -- les couleurs vive!
accented with grey, like ash.
reminder of what i was.
my new language is french.
i wear sunglasses, drink wine, smoke cigarettes.
i have the best fucking french teacher in the world you know.
only she doesnt, at least not with me.
and the really funny part is i... Read More
i missed it today-
do you see my point?
we cannot live like this
the sun setting golden and clear
without us
the scent of flowers was in the air
and we did not smell them
or feel the warm breeze on our faces.
instead we worked
never looking up from our screens
accomplishing a lot of nothing
as it turned... Read More
thing is , worke up disappointed, and so i go to sleep that way. nothing really happened between then and now.
but what should? life?
i am in Estonia, now directing an opera. i look outside this hotel window and see northern stars.
i am bored i guess. no time to see this land. no time to meet its people. they are blonde and wear... Read More
heeeyyyyyy everyone! i plan to kill myself. im not a girl, i know, but it seems fitting.
anyway.
i think its illegal.,., ha ha. who cares?!
you probably think im down. but its not like that. its just that i think ive had enough. ij sort of "get it". you know?
theres some things that change, and some things that dont -- at least not... Read More
i know. most people would say that. im ok. ill wait a bit. but if i dont, please dont take it personally. its not a lack of -- experience or evidence. ive seen a LOT. and i dont think im miss reading the signs. but thanks anyway. thats sweet of u.
ive decided to leave this city first. i know too many people. here. too many contacts. thats why i like sg. i can really feel thoroughly disconnected here. i could vanish from here without making the slightest ripple... like a hot bath on the top of a snowy mountain...
except you i mean ; )
workshop is almost over. one more session. a month is much too long - i don't know what i was thinking. or what they were thinking. in a sense it depends - on how independent they are. how much they can embrace the ethic of solo artist. the credo. the paradigm. with me , or without me. as if zen alone could provide that.
(which... Read More