evelduc

bleh...i need a fuggin life. I've noticed in the years since i quit drinking and partying my life gets duller and duller. Now there is no way in hell i would ever go back to that, but isn't life supposed to get better? I really need this trip, i need to find where i belong because RI is slowly killing me and i find myself falling deeper into despair and depression. Yet i really have nothing to bitch about, i'm healthy (as long as you don't count mental health) i love my family and friends and they are all healthy and doing well and i'm lucky enough to have the chance to jump in my rv and do this road trip yet i still feel like something major is missing from my life. For a long time i thought i needed a girl to make me happy but that has been quite the opposite, i have had nothing but bad experiences and heart break and now the last thing i want is another shitty hurtful relationship. What is missing in my life? I honestly believe that there are no good women left in this world, either they are all spoken for and in happy relationships (and YAY for them) or they are spoken for and miserable in their relationships yet are too scared to leave them. Even worse are the girls that realize what a great thing they had with me AFTER they fuck things up beyond repair and then try and get back together like i'm just going to forget about all the pain and misery they cause. That pisses me off to no end because it's always the same shit "you were the best thing that ever happened to me and noone has ever treated me better, i just didn't realize it at the time. Let's get back together" and blah blah fucking blah. Well fuck all that noise, i did that many times with many girls before i realized it's really NOT me that keeps fucking up yet here i am alone..as usual. WTF? I've been the asshole guy that can't seem to get rid of girls but it makes me unhappy to be mean and when i'm the nice guy that i truely am deep down i get shit on. i swear to God girls are fickle and complete enigmas to me and i think i'm going to be alone forever.
Whats my point in all this rambling? Girls i love you but pull your fucking heads out of your asses and realize a great guy when you see him or better yet have him!! I don't want to hear one more girl bitch about a boyfriend or husband if there has ever been a good guy in your life you didn't appreciate. There are a precious few of us "good guys" left in this world so appreciate us while you can because we are fastly becoming extinct. i know personally i am feeling that urge to regress back into being a complete selfish bastard that treats girls like shit because it seems to be the only way to get you and keep you and that just drives me insane! Contrary to popular belief some of us really like treating girls like goddesses and appreciating all the glorious things that make girls the wonderful beings that you are. if that makes me sound wimpy or dorky i don't give a fuck. i love girls more than anything and i'll be the first to stand up and say i appreciate them regardless of all the pain and misery they cause and the world is a much better place because of you girls. Just do us "good guys" a favor and appreciate us in return, we can make each other blissfully happy.
Am i bitter much? i suppose a wee bit but i just needed to vent. It's a maddening situation that doesn't need to exsist.
And on that note...go away, you're bothering me now ya fuckers.