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So proud of my country right now, as a nation we've contributed 1.8 billion dollars to the tsunami victims. We're now the largest donor, and we're only a relatively small country.
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I hope the new year has brought good times and feelings to everyone reading this. I can honestly say that I haven't really accomplished much thus far, simply enjoying the final days of my holidays. I had a quiet new years, stayed at home watching dvds with an old friend. We blew up a few nearby letterboxes and stole some garden gnomes and lawn furniture for old times sake. Also took whatever frustrations we had out on some cane toads in the backyard with the golf clubs. That's the only form of animal abuse that is tolerated because cane toads are so fucking ugly and they kill native wildlife so it's perfectly acceptable.
I suggest that animal lovers read no further because I went ot a friends 21st on saturday and it ended rather tragically. What a disaster!! It was hands down the worst 21st imaginable: the absolute epitomy of Murphy's law. I hadnt' seen this guy very often since school because I chose to undertake a more academic pathway than his service station job and we consequently drifted apart somewhat.
Regardless, he called me up during the week and said told me about this great 21st party he's gonna have on sunday night because monday is a public holiday and how 'everyone will be recovered from new years so it's gonna go off something fierce'. Apparently all his friends from work were gonna be there in addition to his brother and all these 'hot chicks' he counts among his close friends: those whose very existance is as yet unverified.
He told me to go there at 7 for a bbq, then drinks at his place and then go to some preppy bar that I loathe. Didn't sound like my idea of a great time, but I felt obliged. I show up fashionably late at around 8:30 expecting to see a bustling conglomeration of labourers and slow-witted women, but when I arrived there was only my friend, his older brother, his brothers girlfriend, 2 cats, and another guy who was introduced to me as 'Nug'. I also feel I must tell you all that the house was the most filthy unclean messy place I've ever been inside, you know how on some new programs they have the worst tennants in the country?? I think I found a winner! The food wasnt' served yet as they were waiting for more people to arrive. There was some lollies and potato chips neatly presented in bowls. I decided to offer the cat named 'charger' (the other was named 'turbo', turbocharger - get it?) some lollies and he seemed to have an unusual yet obvious preference for skittles.
The drinking soon began, just shit about high school: who's dead, who's married, who has illegitamate children... We sort of lost track of time, and when I checked my watch I noticed it was 10:30 pm. I suggested to my buddy that perhaps no one else was gonna show up and maybe we should get cooking as I was pretty hungry. I was assured that everyone was on their way over and we'll give then another half hour before we start cooking (that's right! Start cooking dinner at 11pm!). He then told me about this great show called 'The Osbournes' that has Ozzy Osbourne in it and insisted we watch an episode he recorded. As I was sure his ego was already showing signs of inflammation from the lack of people ready to celebrate his 21st, I decided not to tell him that I had seen the show, and in fact this very episode, well over 2 years ago.
At the conclusion of the unexpected programme I noted that maybe we should just skip dinner and head out because it was getting late. He said we'd give everyone until 11:30: a full 4 1/2 hours later than the time the party started. So we were just talking about something when we heard a screeching noise out the front: the sound of locking brakes. The guys brother said he was just going downstairs to check on the cats (who had free-roam of the streets).
So we kept discussing which girl from school we though would have matured the best when we heard his brother screaming/crying out "FUCK OFF YOU STUPID BITCH!!! FUCK OFF!!" So naturally we run downstairs to see what the commotion was about. His brother was holding the cat whose sillohette, even in the dim light, was unmistakable that of a broken animal. Turbo, the cat to whom I had just this afternoon fed all 5 flavours of skittles, had been hit by a car and was killed instantly.
As it was my friends cat I urged him to go upstairs so he wouldn't have to see the cat. I went and spoke to the woman who was driving the car, which ironically was an RSPCA van (an animal activist group), who was visibly upset and apologised for my friends brothers behavior and explained that he had been drinking heavily and was really upset about the cat. She offered to drive the cat to the animal shelter to get it put down (I think it was already dead though) but the brother kept yelling so I told her it would be best if she just left, and I'd try to handle everything.
After she left I went upstairs to tell my friend what had happened; he too was understandably distraught... But as I was telling him not to go downstairs, he brother comes upstairs with the dead cat in his arms. In full view of everyone with the unforgiving luminesence from the neon light source. Every was suddenly confronted with the crushed in skull of charger: one eyeball fully protruded and the most agonised feline expression i've witnessed. Of course this upset everyone present and I told the brother to take it downstairs to which I was threatened with a puch in the face.
So everyone else goes down to the front yard. Turbo, the other cat, is sitting on the road licking up the splattered remains of his deceased littermate. Nug, who has probably said about 5 words the entire night, decides to go home. So I'm left trying to confort my upset friend and his brothers hysterical girlfriend... Then, all of a sudden, a police car pulls up. The brother had called the police because the person just had to be speeding to hit the cat, and that a speedbump should be installed on the road. The police politely replied that speedbumps are not often installed on main roads. He then insisted they measure the tyre marks so estimate how far the car was going. The cops said they were too busy to waste time doing this and that they were sorry about the cat.
The brother started yelling about this saying too many cars speed around the streets and it's not safe, and all that crap. Just then a car starts coming down the street really fast. In an act of defiance and stupidity the brother runs to the middle of the road and stand there. The car slams on it brakes and just misses him. The cops take him to the station for drunk & disorderly and creating a traffic disturbance. They also gave me a lift to the train station, and 40 minutes later I was glad to be at home..
But what a shitty 21st!! Noone comes to your party, you don't have the planned bbq dinner, don't get to go out to the bar, no girls like you, your cat gets killed, and your brother gets arrested.....
So proud of my country right now, as a nation we've contributed 1.8 billion dollars to the tsunami victims. We're now the largest donor, and we're only a relatively small country.
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I hope the new year has brought good times and feelings to everyone reading this. I can honestly say that I haven't really accomplished much thus far, simply enjoying the final days of my holidays. I had a quiet new years, stayed at home watching dvds with an old friend. We blew up a few nearby letterboxes and stole some garden gnomes and lawn furniture for old times sake. Also took whatever frustrations we had out on some cane toads in the backyard with the golf clubs. That's the only form of animal abuse that is tolerated because cane toads are so fucking ugly and they kill native wildlife so it's perfectly acceptable.
I suggest that animal lovers read no further because I went ot a friends 21st on saturday and it ended rather tragically. What a disaster!! It was hands down the worst 21st imaginable: the absolute epitomy of Murphy's law. I hadnt' seen this guy very often since school because I chose to undertake a more academic pathway than his service station job and we consequently drifted apart somewhat.
Regardless, he called me up during the week and said told me about this great 21st party he's gonna have on sunday night because monday is a public holiday and how 'everyone will be recovered from new years so it's gonna go off something fierce'. Apparently all his friends from work were gonna be there in addition to his brother and all these 'hot chicks' he counts among his close friends: those whose very existance is as yet unverified.
He told me to go there at 7 for a bbq, then drinks at his place and then go to some preppy bar that I loathe. Didn't sound like my idea of a great time, but I felt obliged. I show up fashionably late at around 8:30 expecting to see a bustling conglomeration of labourers and slow-witted women, but when I arrived there was only my friend, his older brother, his brothers girlfriend, 2 cats, and another guy who was introduced to me as 'Nug'. I also feel I must tell you all that the house was the most filthy unclean messy place I've ever been inside, you know how on some new programs they have the worst tennants in the country?? I think I found a winner! The food wasnt' served yet as they were waiting for more people to arrive. There was some lollies and potato chips neatly presented in bowls. I decided to offer the cat named 'charger' (the other was named 'turbo', turbocharger - get it?) some lollies and he seemed to have an unusual yet obvious preference for skittles.
The drinking soon began, just shit about high school: who's dead, who's married, who has illegitamate children... We sort of lost track of time, and when I checked my watch I noticed it was 10:30 pm. I suggested to my buddy that perhaps no one else was gonna show up and maybe we should get cooking as I was pretty hungry. I was assured that everyone was on their way over and we'll give then another half hour before we start cooking (that's right! Start cooking dinner at 11pm!). He then told me about this great show called 'The Osbournes' that has Ozzy Osbourne in it and insisted we watch an episode he recorded. As I was sure his ego was already showing signs of inflammation from the lack of people ready to celebrate his 21st, I decided not to tell him that I had seen the show, and in fact this very episode, well over 2 years ago.
At the conclusion of the unexpected programme I noted that maybe we should just skip dinner and head out because it was getting late. He said we'd give everyone until 11:30: a full 4 1/2 hours later than the time the party started. So we were just talking about something when we heard a screeching noise out the front: the sound of locking brakes. The guys brother said he was just going downstairs to check on the cats (who had free-roam of the streets).
So we kept discussing which girl from school we though would have matured the best when we heard his brother screaming/crying out "FUCK OFF YOU STUPID BITCH!!! FUCK OFF!!" So naturally we run downstairs to see what the commotion was about. His brother was holding the cat whose sillohette, even in the dim light, was unmistakable that of a broken animal. Turbo, the cat to whom I had just this afternoon fed all 5 flavours of skittles, had been hit by a car and was killed instantly.
As it was my friends cat I urged him to go upstairs so he wouldn't have to see the cat. I went and spoke to the woman who was driving the car, which ironically was an RSPCA van (an animal activist group), who was visibly upset and apologised for my friends brothers behavior and explained that he had been drinking heavily and was really upset about the cat. She offered to drive the cat to the animal shelter to get it put down (I think it was already dead though) but the brother kept yelling so I told her it would be best if she just left, and I'd try to handle everything.
After she left I went upstairs to tell my friend what had happened; he too was understandably distraught... But as I was telling him not to go downstairs, he brother comes upstairs with the dead cat in his arms. In full view of everyone with the unforgiving luminesence from the neon light source. Every was suddenly confronted with the crushed in skull of charger: one eyeball fully protruded and the most agonised feline expression i've witnessed. Of course this upset everyone present and I told the brother to take it downstairs to which I was threatened with a puch in the face.
So everyone else goes down to the front yard. Turbo, the other cat, is sitting on the road licking up the splattered remains of his deceased littermate. Nug, who has probably said about 5 words the entire night, decides to go home. So I'm left trying to confort my upset friend and his brothers hysterical girlfriend... Then, all of a sudden, a police car pulls up. The brother had called the police because the person just had to be speeding to hit the cat, and that a speedbump should be installed on the road. The police politely replied that speedbumps are not often installed on main roads. He then insisted they measure the tyre marks so estimate how far the car was going. The cops said they were too busy to waste time doing this and that they were sorry about the cat.
The brother started yelling about this saying too many cars speed around the streets and it's not safe, and all that crap. Just then a car starts coming down the street really fast. In an act of defiance and stupidity the brother runs to the middle of the road and stand there. The car slams on it brakes and just misses him. The cops take him to the station for drunk & disorderly and creating a traffic disturbance. They also gave me a lift to the train station, and 40 minutes later I was glad to be at home..
But what a shitty 21st!! Noone comes to your party, you don't have the planned bbq dinner, don't get to go out to the bar, no girls like you, your cat gets killed, and your brother gets arrested.....
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Thats awful.
Well I guess the lesson learned it - Ye whom expects nothing shall never be disappointed.
I found your story very entertaining. I assume you are an animal lover at heard, but can occassionally justify killing the ugly ones.
xoxo
kitties that eat skittles should not be killed by drunk drivers.