This ain't a loveless life, this is art..
I will admit to sit writing these words with the taste of scotch whisky on my tongue numbing it from uttering the words it would like to express on the tip of it and so left my fingers to draw the picture for everyone to see. I'm a person that likes to see art in everything that is around him when there are artists screaming and expressing their own memories to me (music). It will always draw a smile to the corner of my lips and help play the memories that I hold so dear to myself.
There are not many people in this world that can sit and play over and over a certain memory that they hold so dear to themselves; that they can even remember the taste or smells that make each memories unique. From remembering the weather of that day and how it played the mood of the person at that particular moment. If you were to play certain songs and recreate smells from those moments you would be extremely surprised at what your mind will recall.
Since the beginning of 2015 I have been listening to certain songs to help me relive memories and try to help me understand the things I personally have done wrong; for example in past relationships. It has helped when certain days the weather of Scotland has never failed me :D, and then there are times when it has surprised me and shined brightly and showed off the better times. It's at these times I tell myself 'I'm going to win at life'.
Usually I would sit and daydream to pass over the life I lost or the chances I never took... Then there will be a point in life when you will wonder where has time gone and left you. It makes you feel depressed about yourself and you hate will yourself for that. Then you will realize that you only have yourself too blame and wonder why you never had the finer things in life.
I guess in short I would say I stumbled around in life and I have eventually have fallen. I picked myself up because its about time I eventually started writing this story myself. Freedom tasted good on my tongue when I was a young man cause it was cheap like a alcoholic drink and it numbed me from thinking for myself. Then eventually I got stuck in the mindless and numbing work of being a Chef, but all things are not as bad they may seem. I meet a lot of great people during my working career that has taught me to be hard skin and be a even harder worker.
I'm sorry it took me this long to realize that I have to work hard to get and keep the things I love. Also I'm sorry for to realizing that I was not angry at the world around me but angry at myself for letting myself for getting into this runt. I guess I'm cracked at the soul.. I'm walking tip toe over broken glass... Admitting there is a problem is the first step to solving that problem...
Talk Later