emoly

so i havent written in here for forever, and im sick of looking at a blog from '07 about a lame ex boyfriend lol. not that i really have anything exciting to say...so im just going to leave my self a little bit of advice in the form of a definition (from urban dictionary.com ^_^):

platonic (\pl-t-nik, pl-\ ) adj.:
To love someone in an...
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i can't win, can't even get a little bit ahead without sticking my foot in my mouth...i feel like i am in a never ending race to stay even with the pacer and it is driving me nuts! all i want is to be happy. all i want is for my feelings to be reciprocated. i guess i just didnt realize that these things required...
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I will not die and unlived life.
I will not live in fear
of falling
or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my kliving to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart,
until it becomes a wing,
a torch,
a promise.
I Choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me...
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hm...where to start....i had an amazing day today....i got home from work to find a cute boy in my bed, which always makes me a happy girl. michael and i spent all day tangled up together and i absolutely love falling asleep and waking up to him...it's my favorite....especially because today he was a little extra mushy and i was a little extra cheesy and...
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i just worked out and went tanning and i feel sexy ^_^ i have a date tonight and cute new clothes to wear...i'm excited

i'm pretty sure i just picked a fight with my boy the day after his grandma died. im pretty sure that makes me a terrible person....and i feel awful. he really hurt my feelings though and it just kinda all came out. i've never met someone who was so adamant about not wanting help or someone to care about him.

my boy is amazing and i heart him. i had a great valentines day and i am happy and in love ^_^ life is good.

i heart sleep...i wish i could sleep and dream more often. only 25 more shifts of interning...at this rate i should be a paramedic by the end of march...then i will have my life and my dreams back.

i want new ink...like right this second i want it....i want to do something spontaneous and fun...just because I WANT TO....it would make me feel better i think...make me feel more like me...but i cant cuz i want it on my foot and i have to wear work boots tonight makes me a sad panda. another downfall is that my parents absolutely hate tattoos...which means...
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i finally got to go to the strip club...it was amusing....i think i was a girlfriend lol. i also got to see michael last night, which was an awesome surprise ^_^ today i had to wake up early...i went to the doctor and got new glasses...plus i got diet food for my fat cat and a sweater for my ferret...he hates it but he looks...
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another night off without interning...last night was ok, i wanted the night to myself....tonight im kinda restless though and everyone is busy im really in a playful mood....and i kinda wanna go see strippers lol i just feel like a trouble maker tonight i suppose it's too bad too cuz i will probably end up home alone wasting my mischievous mood.

thank god for great friends...too much booze....and great sex. i am drunk and all things considering, pretty happy. i am in love with a boy...i hurt his heart....which hurts my heart in a way that its never been hurt before....but i think maybe that in time i can prove to him that he means to world to me...because he really is my everything...and i soooo...
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