eminerale's SuicideGirls Blog

hello. I know my absence has been noted and I feel like I’ve gained some insight and perspective on this healing journey and I wanted to give an update.
I genuinely regret all the blogs I don’t get to and everything I don’t respond to. All the times I’m away from this community.
I always used to think one day I’d get to the heart
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VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS

h3xl3a:

@eminerale Hey trust I have some fresh new things ready for the new era of what is now Jack Abigaill Music < 3 I'll make sure you're the first to know when I have something incoming : )

Feb 4

eminerale:

@h3xl3a that sounds awesome - I definitely want to know when you are dropping new music 👌🩵

Feb 4

System of a Down - Fuck The System

They almost had me
Red in tooth and claw
Eyes force closed
Needles in mind
Forgot anything from before

They almost had me
Red and green lights stop and go
The perfect system
Most open of prisons
Death in individually-wrapped bites

They almost had me
Red blood of vitality drained
Over complication
Simple destruction
Repetitive doses of
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS

eminerale:

@dicentra Memento Vivere 🖤

Jan 16

dicentra:

@eminerale Always.

Jan 16

This is a plea for advice. Does anybody have any sleep expertise? I’ll try to be brief. Essentially, I always struggle to get to sleep. I listen to ASMR and chill music, I have mild tranquillisers, but sleep just doesn’t happen easy. My sleep patterns have always been chaos, no matter what I do.

Basically, yesterday I did EVERYTHING right. I got up in the...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS

skisby:

I’m expert level at this unfortunately! I have found Lunesta is a lifesaver & cpap, if you have sleep apnea. As far as getting to sleep I try to be consistent with everything you mention & I do something called box breathing - great for lowering stress & anxiety, calms the mind..Breathe out slowly, releasing all the air from your lungs.Breathe in through your nose as you slowly count to four in your head. Be conscious of how the air fills your lungs and stomach.Hold your breath for a count of four.Exhale for another count of four.Hold your breath again for a count of four.Repeat for three to four rounds. Practice, practice, practice. 🍀

Feb 3

eminerale:

Thank you @skisby - you were not wrong about ‘expert level’! This is very helpful - especially the potential to combine all of those things. I’ll have to look up Lunesta now 🙏 and I wish you well with your attempts to get enough sleep.

Feb 3

I started an hour long playlist and began writing a poem - with the rule that whatever I had at the end of the hour would become this blog. When the last song finished, this is what I had:

Tiger of paper, yearning night

Haunt of the blind, learning sight

Talons of hawk, curving flight

Downfall of empires, burning light

Path of unknowing, forever obscured...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS

eminerale:

Thank you @dicentra 🙏 I loved one hour poetry as a challenge, I think I might make it a regular feature 👀

Jan 13

dicentra:

@eminerale You should, it clearly motivates you to write and when you write, beautiful things happen.

Jan 13

I just want to recommend Koji’s Childhood by @doncella

I’ve been reading S1 on Webtoon. It’s a compelling story, and the art is fantastic. Themes of otherness, alienation, formation, and belonging - with some cool and memorable wolves 🐺 definitely worth checking out 👀

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS

eminerale:

@fredhincanada absolutely! 🩵

Jan 14

eminerale:

@doncella you are welcome, it is so good. I really enjoyed it 🩵

Jan 14

… you’ll understand why

Saltwater - Chicane followed by

Set You Free - N-Trance

Freestyler - Bomfunk MCs

Butterfly - Crazy Town

Youth of the Nation - POD and

Take A Look Around - Limp Bizkit

…. has got me absolutely buzzing 🤣🤩

rebel_psc:

Xm Radio channel Turbo has Lall them good songs!!!!

Jan 12

eminerale:

@rebel_psc great tip! 👌

Jan 12

@dicentra is so appreciative. Always trying to reach out, build community and get people interacting - whether by humour, poetry, deep thoughts, music, encouragement, multimedia creativity, or any of the beautiful ways her mind works.

So, Dicentra, this is an attempt to appreciate you.

To know what Dicentra means to me, you have to know where I was. She found me in deep depression. I’ve
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VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS

dicentra:

@liberalcat13 I didn't want to 'start' a community, there was always very much a community... but there's always room for improvement! I'm just here to change it up a bit. 😉 Thank you so much for being so nice! 🥰

Jan 12

liberalcat13:

@dicentra You started a community for me! 😘

Jan 13

This post is because @dicentra asked what love is to us in her BLOG. I posted an earlier version, but it felt very incomplete, so this is the rewrite.

Essentially after thinking and drafting in Notes, I thought of this scene from the end of Life On the Road (2016, SPOILER). It was a spinoff from the original UK version of The Office, featuring...
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dicentra:

The things he says in this, like "I couldn't have lived without trying, and I did that." "Everything works out doesn't it? You think you want one thing, and then you realise you needed something else." "Life's a struggle, with little beautiful surprises, that make you want to carry on, through all the shit, until the next beautiful surprise." Then at the end "I take everyday situations and then I look at them from a different perspective." Are ALL things I've been saying lately. 🥹 That's kinda crazy. You're right that his love for his dream and not giving up was love. It's a labour of love, that's what I keep saying about my videos and my craving to help everyone that supports me. I want to support them and their dreams, too. I really think that, happiness is found in the little things, like the way that kids innocently see the world, because it's not a world full of darkness to them, it's a world full of endless creation. The beauty in the world has been there all along, you just have to look. That silent support you mention, is such a love language. "I'm going to be there for you, even if you don't even realise or care." It's such a selfless form of love and heartbreakingly beautiful. Remember you mentioned "Random acts of kindess" before? It's much like that, isn't it? It's caring for someone even when they don't know you exist, and knowing you'll never get anything from it, but doing it anyway. Interest, attention and affirmation are things that I think most people are desperately seeking. Everyone just wants to be seen and heard. I hope that everyone has or finds that type of love in their life. ❤️

Jan 26

eminerale:

This response in itself really draws out the key and resonant themes and elements of what the scene means to me and how it applies to our lives 🩵 thank you @dicentra for sharing your thoughts and going deep into the significance of these ideas about love.

Jan 28

“You just don’t understand, it was blooming! That’s, like, once every two years! You have to get it back.” His eyes darted around the room as if seeing after-images of all the burglar’s steps.

“Sir, with all due respect, your apartment is half-burned out and your front door is split, and you want us to… find your cactus?” the policeman said.

“Yes! I can’t be
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS

richsquared:

Beautifully written 😃

Jan 6

eminerale:

Thanks @richsquared I appreciate it

Jan 9

It was so hot, that night. I remember the tarmac felt like wax. The moon was full, and the sky was abuzz with some kind of dark, reddish glow. We had plenty of time, so we got coffee at the airport. It was a late flight, but the airport still drifted with its human flotsam and jetsam. It was strangely hushed, as if people had
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS

wolfwood1203:

That was good, man. The slow realization was, as already said, heartbreaking.

Jan 8

eminerale:

Thank you @richsquared and @wolfwood1203 - every reader is an absolute treasure 🩵

Jan 9

eminerale

Update

One Hour Poetry - ‘They Almost Had Me’

Anybody Know About Sleep?

One Hour Poetry - ‘Paper Tiger’

Koji’s Childhood by @doncella

If You Grew Up Anything Like Me…

Thank You, @dicentra

Love On The Road (Version 2.0)

Desert Rose (2019)

Red Eyes In The Morning (2021)

Click here to join & see it all...