elysia

"Have you ever been Rohypnoled by a swan then woken up in Cancun?"

Mwahahaha ... after a teeny weeny bit of fraud I have access to the internet. Oh SG how I have missed you, and boy what a week to have gone without the net.


Top five unbelievable things that have happened in the last week;

(1) I finally got my set all sorted out and ready to go
Photographer, location, outfit all ready. Don't get excited yet though as a small spanner has been thrown into the works as I found out the day after that I'm pregnant. Not a little bit pregnant either. I'm almost at the end of my first trimester. Luckily the father is none other than the ex fiancee which has to be a good thing,so I'm currently shocked, somewhat excited and fucking terrified.

(2) I got a birthday card from Jimmy Carr
I know many of you don't like him but I firmly stand by the fact that his live stuff is awesome. Don't buy a DVD, go see his show! I went the day after my birthday and it was awesome. As part of his new show he goes on about greeting card sentiments and writes out a card to someone in the audience. Suprisingly I shouted loudest. It reads;
Hello Katie, (I have a real name and everything)
22 today (yesterday)
Your biological clock is ticking
Happy birthday
Good luck with the baby
I thought you were just big boned
Jimmy Carr
That's pretty cool and cheered me up loads following a birthday in which I could neither smoke nor drink. Arse feck tit biscuit.

(3) The boy comes crawling back
Ginger twat features sent me this message this morning;

'Hey girl, it's andy, how you doing? You'll be satisfied to know I made the wrong choice and I've split up with that girl, so I'm feeling like a bit of a dickhead'

I have decided to have a lot of fun with this. Play the player at his own game. Chances are that she's left him cos he's an arse so now he's crawling back. Could get me a few dinners and a bit of fun before I announce that I have no interest, am happily pregnant with someone elses baby and am leaving Nottingham anyway. Serves him right. Cheeky fucker.

(4) The parents gatecrash my plans for Leeds
The phone conversation went like this;

Father: Do you have any plans for the weekend?
Me: Yes I'm going to Leeds on Saturday
Father: Well we've decided to come over and see you
Me: Oh
Father: I'll book the hotel now, see you Saturday

What the fuck??? They're only coming over to try and talk me out of my decision and I was really looking forward to Leeds. Depending what time they show there's still the opportunity maybe to do a few hours early on then head back. Needless to say I am very very very pissed off. Wankers.

(5) My birthday
Well, it sucked to be honest. My night out was spent drinking water and dying for a cigarette,whilst my friends got so mindlessly drunk in my honour that it was all over by 12:15pm. Pretty shitty really. I'd rather have been at home with Season 3 of 24 but I'm still waiting for it.


Well that wasn't particularly funny was it? Give me a few days to get my head back on track and I'll be back with humour for you!

I am slowly getting round to replying to comments. Bear with me, time is limited. Damn library internet!

So people of SG whaddya reckon? Few hours at Leeds or not bother? Who's going to be there early?

"I'm Old Gregg ..."