Sometimes I wonder how I ended up where I did. I wonder if I am really living and doing certain things. I met a gorgeous muscular man online. He is 18 years older than me but by looks , you would think only 7 or 8. He is sweet, fun, interesting and complimentary. Here are the catches... He lives 9 hours away by car and he is married. It is failing but I still don't know how I feel about all that. It is so so complex and complicated.
After some months of talking and getting to know each other we finally agree on a time date amd place to meet sort of in the middle. I almost didn't go because I was scared and hesitant because of his situation. Luckily I am relieved, we have amazing chemistry and that spark is there. We talk and laugh and act as if we have kmown each other for years over the next few days. It was so amazing. Did I mention he is a millionaire? And makes 1/3 of my yearly salary just in the couple days we are there. Money is not a factor to me but it all just blows my mind. He is spoiled , used to having the best food, fanciest clothes, etc, our hotel suite even had a fireplace and jacuzzi tub! My modest life doesn't include things like that. Our last night for dinner we are at this amazingly fancy seafood restaurant high up in a building looking over water and a city skyline. I feel like pinching myself. He pulls out the chair for me and orders everything for me after confirming what I want. Such a dream date!!
I didn't even mention the sex yet. So I am a squirter and most men are turned on by that. He however was in love with my ability to do this. He made me do it so much I had to keep drinking gatorade and water to stay hydrated!! When we were in the 69 position i thought I might pass out or die from the pleasure and ecstasy! It was something about that angle and the magic of his tongue. I have never had an experiemce like that before!! Oh he knew how to please a woman in so many ways. I love his confidence and his power, the way he takes comtrol of things and any situation. I am just in limbo and trying to figure out where or how I will continue to fit into his life. It is all a mystery and I am at the mercy of fate. I am trying to keep an open mind and heart but I am guarded and unsure. I am following his lead and so far I am enjoying where it has taken me.
