ellemarie

Well I haven't written my thoughts down in awhile, so I thought maybe I would. A positive update is fuckface has been leaving me alone so I am happy about that. Things are going pretty well. Still working away like normal. The holidays were really nice and I hope they were for all of you too. I will be ringing in the New Year w
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I had such a nice holiday type weekend with my kids and family. I wasnt ready for it to end. But it had to, back to the grind tonight. I just love being a mom. I have such a special bond with my boys. Raising them on my own is challenging but they are beyond worth it. They are my reason to get up every
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Trapped... Trapped in my head. Trapped in my thoughts. Paralyzed by anxiety and fear. Sometimes out of nowhere I feel like this. I have no idea why. All the demons from my past. All the shitty words I used to hear.. All the pain I used to feel... All the anger and hate towards me..all the sick feelings in my gut. All the ugliness just...
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This is the last time that I am going to post about a certain sociopathic, psychopathic guy that I dated. I no longer give him that power or satisfaction. He thinks he knows me. He thought he owned me and to think we only saw each other 3 times, once in public. I have known him less than a year and have only sorta talked
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Psychotic men that you used to date suck. I do not really consider him an ex because we were not a couple. I have known him since January and met him on fet life. He has been causing drama in my life ever since. I wish i knew who he was on here so i could block and delete him etc. i blocked his phone...
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Dating... Sigh... So life as a single girl is kinda tough sometimes. It has its perks at times but can also be a boring, cold, lonely world at times too. I just do not know how to take it or where I fit in. All of a sudden I have met a man who has sort of caught me off guard and has sort of...
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I worked this halloween weekend but stillmanaged to have some fun be ause I love my coworkers. They are great friends and make it feel less like work and more like fun. They are very helpful and very funny, they constantly make me laugh and we have so much fun!!

Sometimes you read a news story and it has gruesome details of domestic violence. It triggers something deep inside you. It triggers sickness and pain that you wish you could leave buried. More than once you have wished you could obtain the device in Men in Black that permanently erases your memory of something. You wish those memories did not exist. You wonder if you
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I do not consider myself to be a slut. Do I enjoy sex? Yes. Do I have a strong, high libido? Yes, I always have. I find it to be so silly and rude that someone would call you a slut for the color of lipstick you like to wear.

In recent months I had a sort of controlling ex boyfriend who called it my
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Shades of grey. Tonight I was staring at my newly hung dark grey curtains against my lighter grey bedroom wall and pondering about why I love this color so much. To some it is so dreary, to me it is peaceful. It is neutral. It is not boring, it leaves a lot of room to add in bright fun colors with it, sunshine yellow, bright
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Sometimes I wonder how I ended up where I did. I wonder if I am really living and doing certain things. I met a gorgeous muscular man online. He is 18 years older than me but by looks , you would think only 7 or 8. He is sweet, fun, interesting and complimentary. Here are the catches... He lives 9 hours away by car and...
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Mortality is one of those things young people do not typically think about. Sometimes you are forced to when your pet goldfish Wilbur dies, or the kitten you begged your mom to allow you to rescue gets hit by a car. Your high school friend may die in a car accident and mortality smacks you hard in the face while you are sleepily eating a...
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