I was a wee bit "speedy" driving a friend home one night in October and received my first ever ticket! The ol' 3 button trick (unbuttoning my shirt) didn't help me out so much that night.
"Excuse me ma'am. Do you know how fast you were going?"
"Well... no, but I can tell you this: I wasn't going fast enough to throw you off!"
"I clocked you going 78 in a 55."
"That's impossible, officer. My car doesn't do anything under 90!!"
"Can I see your license and registration and proof of insurance?"
"Nope! Insurance is for fuckin' obese people and Steve Irwin's family!"
A $275 ticket (was originally $335) + $55 class fee... and I could have another fuckin' tattoo and gotten a bus ticket to Montana to visit my best friend again with that dough! Or at least gotten a proper dye job instead of me fuckin' doing it myself at 9am getting black dye all over the white bathroom and listening to my mom bitch about not using 'soft scrub' on all the 'purple crap' all over the bathroom. That 'purple crap' is D R I E D black dye, duhhhh! Just give me the damn bleach and I'll do it myself!
What's worse is on my way home from my drivers safety class I was on Highway 30 falling asleep behind the wheel during rush hour traffic and I fuckin' sweved out of oncoming traffic! I got a phone call 20 seconds later from a friend asking if it was MY camry dodging in and outta traffic... FUCKING SMALL TOWNS!!
You damn women nowadays don't know how to clean the bathrooms or drive properly anyhow!!
"Excuse me ma'am. Do you know how fast you were going?"
"Well... no, but I can tell you this: I wasn't going fast enough to throw you off!"
"I clocked you going 78 in a 55."
"That's impossible, officer. My car doesn't do anything under 90!!"
"Can I see your license and registration and proof of insurance?"
"Nope! Insurance is for fuckin' obese people and Steve Irwin's family!"
A $275 ticket (was originally $335) + $55 class fee... and I could have another fuckin' tattoo and gotten a bus ticket to Montana to visit my best friend again with that dough! Or at least gotten a proper dye job instead of me fuckin' doing it myself at 9am getting black dye all over the white bathroom and listening to my mom bitch about not using 'soft scrub' on all the 'purple crap' all over the bathroom. That 'purple crap' is D R I E D black dye, duhhhh! Just give me the damn bleach and I'll do it myself!
What's worse is on my way home from my drivers safety class I was on Highway 30 falling asleep behind the wheel during rush hour traffic and I fuckin' sweved out of oncoming traffic! I got a phone call 20 seconds later from a friend asking if it was MY camry dodging in and outta traffic... FUCKING SMALL TOWNS!!
You damn women nowadays don't know how to clean the bathrooms or drive properly anyhow!!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
skywisdom:
Awww, but this one was so tasteful!
skywisdom:
Well, I'm leaving for UofO on the 7th, so we better get on that!