So as I sit here by myself in my apartment (because once again, as it seems, my arrival has been a signal for everyone else to leave) something occurs to me.
I'm really tired of dealing with children.
I suppose if they were my own kids, I wouldn't mind as much, but as it stands they're mainly just people I know who seem to see me as some kind of father figure. Probably because for the last year I've done things like employ them, put roofs over their heads and cooked meals. So I guess in a way it's my own fault.
As much sympathy as I have for folks going through the growing pains of early adulthood, I just can't be bothered to deal with the tantrums and the entitlement and the complaints about how terrible life is. It really isn't. You're the one who's digging your own hole and I really don't care anymore. Frankly, you bore me.
The really unfortunate thing is as I look around my social circle I see only 2 things: Married folks and children. The annoying part is that I feel very caught between the two. I don't fit in with the ones with families and spouses, and I sure as hell don't fit in with the kids.
I'm 30 years old, and in those years I've learned a lot. Not everything, but a decent amount. Hell, I learn more everyday. So as I result, I really don't care about the stuff that I know is petty bullshit. I know when I was their age, I was pretty wrapped up in it too, but you know what? Here's the bottom line:
I'm old now. I'm no one's father. I'm not much of anything. I'm just here. And for the first time since I got here, I'm seriously wondering if here is where I should be after all.
I'm really tired of dealing with children.
I suppose if they were my own kids, I wouldn't mind as much, but as it stands they're mainly just people I know who seem to see me as some kind of father figure. Probably because for the last year I've done things like employ them, put roofs over their heads and cooked meals. So I guess in a way it's my own fault.
As much sympathy as I have for folks going through the growing pains of early adulthood, I just can't be bothered to deal with the tantrums and the entitlement and the complaints about how terrible life is. It really isn't. You're the one who's digging your own hole and I really don't care anymore. Frankly, you bore me.
The really unfortunate thing is as I look around my social circle I see only 2 things: Married folks and children. The annoying part is that I feel very caught between the two. I don't fit in with the ones with families and spouses, and I sure as hell don't fit in with the kids.
I'm 30 years old, and in those years I've learned a lot. Not everything, but a decent amount. Hell, I learn more everyday. So as I result, I really don't care about the stuff that I know is petty bullshit. I know when I was their age, I was pretty wrapped up in it too, but you know what? Here's the bottom line:
I'm old now. I'm no one's father. I'm not much of anything. I'm just here. And for the first time since I got here, I'm seriously wondering if here is where I should be after all.