Day two.
I woke up at two p.m. Not too terrible seeing as how I'd been up past four a.m. the night before. I made breakfast - scrambled eggs with blue cheese and bacon and cracked black pepper on two english muffins. I washed up while making tea. Then I sat down and made a list of the things I wanted to accomplish that day. I've still got it here, 'cause I didn't get through it all.
And then I went out and bought some things I needed to start getting the flat back in order. I hadn't cleaned for weeks. I got back home feeling strong and energized I set out to clean the whole place as I usually do, but I ended up spending the whole day in just one room. There's been sad, stagnant energy building up throughout the whole flat. I couldn't have put that into words earlier, but it's obvious to me now. I worked until I felt it go away.
So I spent the whole day in the living room. It's late now, and I'm done for the night. It feels warm again in there now, and welcoming, and beautiful too. It feels like me. Once the walls are re-treated and her books are gone, it'll be all me. It doesn't feel lonely in that room anymore, but as I was washing up my dinner's dishes I had to steel myself against a deep, swelling wave of sadness.
I'm learning and I'm healing and I'm letting go.
***
I love you. I had a much better day than I did yesterday, and I hope that you did too.
Goodnight.
I woke up at two p.m. Not too terrible seeing as how I'd been up past four a.m. the night before. I made breakfast - scrambled eggs with blue cheese and bacon and cracked black pepper on two english muffins. I washed up while making tea. Then I sat down and made a list of the things I wanted to accomplish that day. I've still got it here, 'cause I didn't get through it all.
And then I went out and bought some things I needed to start getting the flat back in order. I hadn't cleaned for weeks. I got back home feeling strong and energized I set out to clean the whole place as I usually do, but I ended up spending the whole day in just one room. There's been sad, stagnant energy building up throughout the whole flat. I couldn't have put that into words earlier, but it's obvious to me now. I worked until I felt it go away.
So I spent the whole day in the living room. It's late now, and I'm done for the night. It feels warm again in there now, and welcoming, and beautiful too. It feels like me. Once the walls are re-treated and her books are gone, it'll be all me. It doesn't feel lonely in that room anymore, but as I was washing up my dinner's dishes I had to steel myself against a deep, swelling wave of sadness.
I'm learning and I'm healing and I'm letting go.
***
I love you. I had a much better day than I did yesterday, and I hope that you did too.
Goodnight.