i was just readong back through my journals here, and noticing that i never really have anything very positive to say. is it that i'm drawn to dwell on the things that cause me pain, or is it just that this last year has been extraordinarily painful? a bit of both, i think...
...but, you know - there have been a few really, really, really great things that have happened this year. a lot of them have been inside me: realizations about myself and how i see the world - finally closing the book on a few very epic chapters of my life --- it's been all about life from death, i suppose. there were so many things in my life that i was sure that i couldn't live without...but in losing and ending those things, i began to see a new life unfold. new paths to take that either weren't there or weren't accessible before. new thoughts and feelings - a new state of being for my once weary mind.
so now i'm at a new crossroad - my best friend of 10 years is moving away from me. i've never been closer to another soul, and have never known adult life without her presence. she's beyond family - beyond second nature. i fucking wish to god that she didn't have to do this, but i know that she does.
it would be very "me" of me to fight this - to get really intense and freefall into all of the feelings that i have about her moving back to the midwest... but it'd only make it harder on me - and much worse, harder on her.
i know that something good is gonna come out of this - and so i'm behind her 100%.
...but goddamn i'm going to miss her.
...but, you know - there have been a few really, really, really great things that have happened this year. a lot of them have been inside me: realizations about myself and how i see the world - finally closing the book on a few very epic chapters of my life --- it's been all about life from death, i suppose. there were so many things in my life that i was sure that i couldn't live without...but in losing and ending those things, i began to see a new life unfold. new paths to take that either weren't there or weren't accessible before. new thoughts and feelings - a new state of being for my once weary mind.
so now i'm at a new crossroad - my best friend of 10 years is moving away from me. i've never been closer to another soul, and have never known adult life without her presence. she's beyond family - beyond second nature. i fucking wish to god that she didn't have to do this, but i know that she does.
it would be very "me" of me to fight this - to get really intense and freefall into all of the feelings that i have about her moving back to the midwest... but it'd only make it harder on me - and much worse, harder on her.
i know that something good is gonna come out of this - and so i'm behind her 100%.
...but goddamn i'm going to miss her.
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The masses and I all want more echofonic.
... Could you just do us all this one big favor? Make a celebrity appearance, or whatever it is you rockstars do to keep your PR up, savvy? Must think of the fans...