Monday Jul 28, 2003

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it's sink-or-swim time. i can't remember the last time that i was this financially fucked. it's getting harder to concentrate as each day slips by without my being any closer to having steady income. rent's due in 6 days and i'm starting to wonder if i'll be able to pay it on time. or at all, even. i'm sick with this.

it's times like these, as i pace these small rooms while the phone sits silent in its cradle, that i feel it crawling up from the pit of my stomach to sit at the base of my throat.

i am taking on water.
midori:
Come be my pool boy. True, I can't pay you. True, I don't have a pool, but at least you'll feel better. I know I will...
In all seriousness, little homie, things get scary all the time and we always come out on top. We are capable of amazing feats of survival...just don't let the fear paralyze you, and keep being creative about what comes next. I can tell you're special, so I know you won't drown. My thoughts are definitely with you, as is my confidence that you'll pull through.
xoxoxo
biffy:
Those could have been my words exactly, except that I'm not much of a worrier. We are also in the deepest financial water we've ever been in (see my fantasy in my profile) and neither of us are employed at the moment (although I start a temporary job in a week or so). It affects my husband a lot more than it does me, he's very much a worrier. He's more stressed out than I've ever seen him. THAT's what gets to me. His being stressed out stresses me out.
Anyway, I always find that things tend to have a way of working out. Live in the moment. Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I live in the moment TOO much and don't think enough about the future... Hmmmm...

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