The gum on the sidewalks by my house turns black over a fortnight. My thumbnails have gone black too from picking makeup off my lashes and scratching at crud on public tables in parks.
I'm looking out for sexual predators. I'm squinting my eyes in the too bright sun. I can hear winter coming. I'm planning to stay at home.
I'm so smart my brain...
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I'm looking out for sexual predators. I'm squinting my eyes in the too bright sun. I can hear winter coming. I'm planning to stay at home.
I'm so smart my brain...
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It took me five minutes to find the apostrophe on this Costa Rican keyboard.
Sometimes, I can't believe I got my degree.
Sometimes, I can't believe I got my degree.
VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
sakita:
still?????????????
kingskottie:
DAMMIT!
I'm going to the inappropriately named Costa Rica for two weeks. I plan to eat some beans and let the ocean clean out the dirt under my fingernails. I plan to brown my white ass.
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mathematics:
cool. have fun in Costa Rica. but why do you say it's innappropriately named? 
PS white asses are super sexy.
PS white asses are super sexy.
Top of the neighbourhood shit list has to be my next door neighbour. He is young and likes to not wear a shirt often and is generally very affable. He says hello. A lot. And it is fine on the street. But he peeks through the slats in the fence and says hi to me when I'm in my backyard. The other day I heard...
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inabsentia:
Yipes...line the fence row with beartraps. "Hi! *snap!* GAHHHHHH!!!" (commence copious bleeding and screaming)
trilobyte:
I'll be volunteering to help at a couple places, but largely I make nothing and do nothing, save for hang out and enjoy myself and the company of others.
Don't you worry about pics, I'm actually part of the screen saver project for this year's event. It's all so exciting.
odi omnes
Don't you worry about pics, I'm actually part of the screen saver project for this year's event. It's all so exciting.
odi omnes
I got peed on yesterday. The diaper wasn't on securely and I got soaked while carrying my nephew. It was a couple of hours before I could change out of my clothes. If it had been one of my other charges I would have been really disgusted, but since he is related to me - I didn't really care. I didn't bother trying to find...
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acidevangelist:
My niece is 12 days old. I am sure I will experience the same botched urine exchange that you did.
My, what big, beautiful eyes you have.
My, what big, beautiful eyes you have.
isetfires:
yesterday was a long time ago.
I have my motorcycle license.
You know those things that you never thought you would end up doing. Kinda half because you didn't want to and half because you thought you'd suck at it or it didn't fit the your stupid idea of who you are. That's me and my motorcycle license.
It is all muggy and polluted out. I am tired and sore and...
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You know those things that you never thought you would end up doing. Kinda half because you didn't want to and half because you thought you'd suck at it or it didn't fit the your stupid idea of who you are. That's me and my motorcycle license.
It is all muggy and polluted out. I am tired and sore and...
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VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
deadsweetheart:
aT least its easier to get a liscence up htere wher you re then in my state. I couldve gottena 1940s vintage Indian Motrcycle but well i didnt have a liscence so teh MVA wouldnt let me have it to register.
oh well
Todd
oh well
Todd
isetfires:
yeah....just for shits i sent myself a "contact message" to see how it worked and everything and i have found that i received no mail. in short this shit aint workin. lets do it the old fashioned way.... "www.isetfires@hotmail.com". i'm really upset this didn't work the 1st time around, please try again 4 me. 
..oh yeah, i got 4 years sober yesterday..yay 4 me or something.
l8tr.
..oh yeah, i got 4 years sober yesterday..yay 4 me or something.
l8tr.
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papawheelie:
I like charles mingus' advise on potty training kitties. I'm more of a dog person m'self
papawheelie:
canuckistan is the funniest fucking thing I've seen all week. thanks for that, i just noticed it and almost blew milk out of my nose. and I'm not even _drinking_ milk! hahaha
Last night I shot out of bed screaming in pain and clutching my right calf. D woke up in a panic and asked me what was wrong. And then it left as soon as it came. Strange visitor.
Ok it is smarty-pants time: You are on a game show on television. On this game show the idea is to win a car as a prize....
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Ok it is smarty-pants time: You are on a game show on television. On this game show the idea is to win a car as a prize....
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robscarlett:
Re-reading your question I have to wonder if the door with the goat is even one of the three....
and if not...
what the hell are they doing to that poor goat?!?
*hug*
and if not...
what the hell are they doing to that poor goat?!?
*hug*
welntaod:
"Oh Weaver...a red snapper. Very tasty. So, Weaver would you like to keep your snapper or take what Hiro-san has in the box!?" "Uh....I'll take the box!" "Okay. Let's see what's in the box." *pause* "Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Stupid!!! You're so stupid!!!" 
Fuck, take the goat! I already own a car... They never actually tell you if you get to keep the goat so, I put my chips there & cross my fingers.
Fuck, take the goat! I already own a car... They never actually tell you if you get to keep the goat so, I put my chips there & cross my fingers.
All of my skirts are too short and when I sit on the subway my underwear touches the vinyl. I hate the feeling on my thighs when they squeak against the seats and I think about dirty toilets, used sheets and all the things my bum is not supposed to touch.
I just can't bring myself to wear longer skirts.
I just can't bring myself to wear longer skirts.
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isetfires:
that's too bad about the garlic, it's a good healer. when i'm sick i swallow raw garlic cloves like giant pills.
hand blender...i think we have one of those at my job. it's like a giant garbage disposal on a stick with an on/off switch. i sometimes chase people aroung the kitchen with it but i always end up running out of cord before the kill.
as for my favorite weapon? i'm gonna have to get back to you on that one cause it's going to require some deep thought.
i will be here for a little over a week....
i can safely say i haven't been on a vacation like this in a long time..a long time.
my dad used to give us a shot of jack daniels in our tea with a shitload of honey and lemon when we were sick....but that might have just been to shut us the fuck up.
c-ya
hand blender...i think we have one of those at my job. it's like a giant garbage disposal on a stick with an on/off switch. i sometimes chase people aroung the kitchen with it but i always end up running out of cord before the kill.
as for my favorite weapon? i'm gonna have to get back to you on that one cause it's going to require some deep thought.
i will be here for a little over a week....
i can safely say i haven't been on a vacation like this in a long time..a long time.
my dad used to give us a shot of jack daniels in our tea with a shitload of honey and lemon when we were sick....but that might have just been to shut us the fuck up.
c-ya
trilobyte:
Dear goopy eye (mink-eye?), cut it out! As for the strep throat, well, you don't need that either. Get it all out of your system, though, so you can enjoy the summer affliction-free 
I'll post the second installment in the next day or two - I haven't really had any free time lately (what else is new), aside from the documented prom shenanigans I've been spending most of my free time in the studio or dealing with some level of drama. And this weekend has a concert, possibly the sg burlesque with my friend in it, and some insano all-night party/fundraiser that may involve me being required to get lapdances. Yes, required. Oh, the things I do for charity
I'll post the second installment in the next day or two - I haven't really had any free time lately (what else is new), aside from the documented prom shenanigans I've been spending most of my free time in the studio or dealing with some level of drama. And this weekend has a concert, possibly the sg burlesque with my friend in it, and some insano all-night party/fundraiser that may involve me being required to get lapdances. Yes, required. Oh, the things I do for charity
I chose my current profession so that I wouldn't have to speak on the phone. I hated the constant negotiations of office phone work. And everytime I hung up the receiver I would turn to my co-workers and say something nasty. And the people on the other line would do the same to me. And all across the city there would be people picking up...
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hellocentral:
put up two more pictures of paintings if you wanna see =)
thecowboy:
.dear minky, oh forget it..love, amazed..
And I would probably crush my hand on the belt without trying to.