drstinkypants

so fucking tired.
it was one of those nights where i dont think i slept more than an hour at a time without waking up.

weird fucked up fever dreams all night.
these dreams were in chapters, like video game levels.

im in love with this girl from austin. i drive down 35 near austin through the mix masters. traffic stops so i get out of the car and fling myself off the bridge, and im 65 stories up, just gliding. floating through the night air straight to her...
in love i guess.

WAKE UP.
was i asleep at all? i cant remember. the fucking neighbor's air conditioning unit has a rock or something stuck in the fan. fuck thats annoying. i wish their house would burn back down.
1am fuck. ok, relax. fall asleep. you can still get one REM cycle before work
...

we're in the mall. its huge.
somehow we're held hostage... by christopher walken. we'll be killed if we dont follow his rules.
sort of like that movie Nick of Time (anyone see that movie? i dont know why i remember it. i havent seen it for almost a decade).
we rob or kill whoever he says without getting caught, trying to figure out who Chris is, and how we can get away as each level proceeds.
Next task: the diamond store. Here's our chance, he has to meet us in the open

WAKE UP
earthquake? no.
train's shaking the house. wait for it to pass.
4:00 am. fuck. 2 hours to go.
lay down, just nap. try to relax before work. youre exhausted, but dont sleep through the alarm. dont sleep through the alarm
dont slee...

we rob the diamond store. we rob them just like we did the others.
ok. hes in the courtyard right there. blue shirt. this is it. the end boss.
in the middle of the mall i shoot christopher walken with my black .38.
he goes down. if we make it out before anyone gets us we're free and we're alive and we can do this because we're together. we're gonna be together, finally
fuck shes beautiful. i havent felt like this for years...
i hope i never feel like this again. this is a dangerous feeling.

we make it to her apartment, finally safe. she goes in to check it out. when its clear she comes out
i breathe her in. it seems too good to be true. but dont question it, its a wonderful dream

she tells me she doesnt love me; that its not working out. she thought she loved me but, she doesnt.
she doesnt love me
we have a long 90 minute conversation about why she doesnt love me:
she used to like me, but it was passing
i dress funny
i probably love her more than she could love me
i dont fit in with her friends
and it was nice of me to save her life but we should try not to ever see each other again.

WAKE UP
to the alarm clock and some douche bags talking about the dallas stars or some shit. WOCKA WOCKA WOCKA
6am. fuck. its time
i dont think i slept more than hour at a time.
fucking weird dreams. emotional dreams. like freakishly emotional. like more emotional than if i were actually there. i really felt like my heart got broken. and i felt more like crying this morning than i have for 3 years.
didnt make any sense. i almost never feel like crying.

hope i can shake this funk off by tomorrow...

thats a pretty wussy entry but its been on my mind for some reason.
tell me what your fever dreams are like