OK, so my parents just asked me to consider going on Paxil. I don't know which is more frightening... that they suggested it, or that I'm actually considering it.
I mean, people have been having these "social anxiety" problems for years, centuries even, but all they did was drink cooking sherry to combat that. Seriously, what the fuck?
Yeah, I don't like going outside. I don't like talking to people in real space. I still go to work, it's not like I don't socialize there. But the real thing is not so much that I'm afraid of meeting people, I'm afraid of what they'll turn out to be, because most people in the world are stupid. I have no interest in meeting them not because I'm afraid, but because I, in some condescending way, feel above them. In a lot of cases, I'm right, if only because again, most people in the world are stupid and not worth anyone's time, not just mine. And yet, here I am, telling myself, "Sean, maybe this is a good idea."
I dunno... maybe I'm just desperate for a way out of this fucking town. Maybe I'm seeing that as a golden ticket of sorts, like it'll take me to a land of endless chocolate and little orange men with green hair. I know I can do something with myself, but I can't do it here, and why not? After all, "it has no side effects."
Then I ask you, why haven't we put it in the drinking water, cure everyone at once? No side effects my ass.
I dunno... maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it. Maybe I'm letting my friends' bad experiences with that sort of thing cloud my judgement. Or maybe I'm right. I'll have to think about it.
I mean, people have been having these "social anxiety" problems for years, centuries even, but all they did was drink cooking sherry to combat that. Seriously, what the fuck?
Yeah, I don't like going outside. I don't like talking to people in real space. I still go to work, it's not like I don't socialize there. But the real thing is not so much that I'm afraid of meeting people, I'm afraid of what they'll turn out to be, because most people in the world are stupid. I have no interest in meeting them not because I'm afraid, but because I, in some condescending way, feel above them. In a lot of cases, I'm right, if only because again, most people in the world are stupid and not worth anyone's time, not just mine. And yet, here I am, telling myself, "Sean, maybe this is a good idea."
I dunno... maybe I'm just desperate for a way out of this fucking town. Maybe I'm seeing that as a golden ticket of sorts, like it'll take me to a land of endless chocolate and little orange men with green hair. I know I can do something with myself, but I can't do it here, and why not? After all, "it has no side effects."
Then I ask you, why haven't we put it in the drinking water, cure everyone at once? No side effects my ass.
I dunno... maybe I'm making too big a deal out of it. Maybe I'm letting my friends' bad experiences with that sort of thing cloud my judgement. Or maybe I'm right. I'll have to think about it.
i'd say, don't do it. you are alive and you may be more antisocial than most, but that doesn't mean it's a dysfunction. i think society today jumps too quickly to drugs to "correct" your personality. i dislike most of the world and sometimes i hole myself up and decide to be miserable. but i'd rather be miserable and real than a zomboid.
but that's just me. i'm kinda biased. and i came from a shitty town too. it was waaaay too small and people there were so ignorant. it's good to leave.