dolphingirl001

this is how i feel today. the past couple of months have really sucked ive been under alot of stress (like always but more then normal) lets see where to began work sucks my hours are getting cut and these nothing i can do about it unless i quit and get another job but i dont want to go though that whole process again so for right now im dealing with it. i dont have money which is always an issue with me. i wanna move out but i dont have the money to do it i wanna do fuckin fifty million different things but i cant. my newest puppy buddy is sick and when i say sick i mean sick like he might die he has pravo if you dont know what that is its a viral disease that affects puppys and can infect the heart muscle and lead to "sudden"death. hes been sick for about 4 days now and hes on an IV to give him the meds he needs to get better and even after all this and hoping that he gets better the vet says he still has a chance of getting it again. so thats just fucking great theres no cure and it really sucks cause hes the cutest thing in the world and hes only 4 months old he hasnt even lived. so right now me and my girl are just trying to get though that and then if that wasnt bad enough my bestest friend is sick and i mean sick so sick that i cant go one day without think about her and wondering if shes ok or will she ever be ok and my (close) friends are my family and im the kind of person that takes care of her family and its sooooo hard cause shes states away from me and i cant help her the way i want to. what if something happens to her its not like i live down the street from her or 10 mins away like it use to be. i mean if it gets bad which i hope it never does im on the first flight to her and im going to stay with her untill shes better. even sitting here writing this makes my eyes tear up cause i feel hopeless and i dont like feeling that way and sometimes when i talk to her on the phone she always tells me shes fine but i know that shes not true cause i can hear it in her voice. i know theres only so much that i can do but i wish i could do more but for right now im doing my best to be there for her in anyway i can and telling her i love her and hoping for the best cause i know shes strong and it will start getting better soon like my mom always says it has to get worse before it can get better. well to anyone thats reading this sorry i gave you an ear full but i had to get it out so thanks for listening