doll_

right..so, my two day painting project turned into a four day debacle. im still high from the fumes..i still have paint in my hair. but my house is done for fucks sake.

im eating thai red curry with prawns, pineapple and brown rice right now.. its really good. want some?

i am listening to a cd that i bought last night... its sinead o'connor doing a bunch of raggae songs...i know its sounds scary.. but actually its quite rad.


i also bought this... geez im a dork.

please go congratulate these two.... two people very much in love. so sweet.
super_pinkey and Eilidh

i miss my lovely Holliday she's in califas right now, hopefully taking in a nice sunset and getting excited about her big move.

i have been too busy lately to make the proper sweet fuck to my good lady wife violently and im paying for it dearly.

other than that, jesus is lord

and peace out, word to your moms.

oh... and,

p.s. i am sick and tired of having to justify myself and my actions to the people in my life. i work hard and other than that i have very little time for bullshit. my life, my privacy, and my personal time and space is very important to me. what i do in that time is none of your business. weather i choose to spend time on s.g, or watch pornos all night long or bang myself with chain saw blades is none of your concern. i love my friends and family , but i have priorities now that no one seems to understand. over the last few years i have come a long way and have realized that i can not be all things to all people. i cannot be your rock, your entertainment, your counsellor, your therapist, your puppet. i have my own life that needs my attention and my own needs. i do not expect to be the focus of others attentions, at all times. why would you expect such things of me? the world does not revolve around you. or i. we are s intertwined by our relationships, that we CHOOSE to maintain, simply renting space and time on this great earth.
i am at a point where if these relationships become too much of a strain for me i will easily end them. this is not a selfish act, but a protective one. i have to look out for myself now, as i have spent too many years looking out for others. none of this should even be a big deal. so please. get over yourselves. if i don't call for a few weeks, or even a month, don't freak out. i love you. i'm working hard to obtain some goals. this does not make me a bad friend. this makes me a person focused on their life and future right now. i spent so long making sure everyone else was okay, now it is time for me. i do not expect you to wait around for me, because i can see how this could be construed as selfishness. you know that i would and many times have given the shirt off of my back to those that i love who were in need, and true friendship doesn't fade with time apart or separation. in fact, if you want to talk about being a true friend or a good friend even, a true friend wouldn't call someone out for living their own life. in closing, it makes me sad and honestly kind of annoyed that i even have to explain any of this. a simple "i need to take some time to myself" should be enough. (as if the fact that you don't have my cell phone number, home phone number or address right now wasn't a big enough hint. you make me go and break it down you.)
but no. i have to vindicate myself or i am seen as a monster.
moving right along.. nothing to see here.


edited to prevent further offense caused by blistering tirade