Okay, you guys have no idea how many times i've heard the words anxiety, depression and other things such as cognitive behavioural therapy and mindfulness lately! So I've decided to write this for those really negative, insecure people of the world.
Not only am I doing a Psychology course at the moment as an attempt to get in to university (Which I have a conditional offer on by the way, so yes I'm really trying to learn and pass it!)
Now i've never actually tried cognitive behavioural therapy or any therapy for that matter but I have read about it quite a bit lately.
What i've learned from doing this course has actually helped me as a person as I've always been curious about whether we control our brains or if our brains control us? The answer is - It's up to you! Seriously.
I've learned 2 important things from this:
1. YOU are not your thoughts! Just because you think them doesn't mean you have to be controlled by them.
2. Negative thinking actually leads to depression and anxiety
So you either start thinking positively and control your mind or it controls you and makes you believe every negative thought you have - but that still doesn't make it true!
I know a lot of people (especially on here) that say they have some kind of anxiety or depression... I guess sometimes it's only natural to be human and have negative thoughts, and it's not always easy to control them.
I haven't had to try it out yet and I'm an easily distracted person so I don't know how well it would work for me but I read up on something called 'Mindfulness' the other day, I had never heard of it before so not sure if you guys have...
"Mindfulness exercises are ways of paying attention to the present moment, using techniques like meditation, breathing, and yoga. Training helps people to become more aware of their thoughts, feelings, and body sensations so that instead of being overwhelmed by them, they’re better able to manage them. Practicing mindfulness can give more insight into emotions, boost attention and concentration, and improve relationships."
"Mindfulness meditation has been shown to affect how the brain works and even its structure. People undertaking mindfulness training have shown increased activity in the area of the brain associated with positive emotion – the pre-frontal cortex – which is generally less active in people who are depressed."
If you're interested you can read about it yourself here: http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-a-z/M/mindfulness/
Basically It's about letting your negative thoughts enter and leave your head without even letting yourself think about them, and paying attention to the present rather than regretting the past or worrying about the future.
This link has a bit more information about it and some techniques on how to do it: http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/mindfulness.htm
I really agree with the "Automatic-pilot" thing they talk about, as I have a tendency to do that pretty much every time i'm doing something boring.
Then of course there are other cognitive therapies such as the Rational-Emotive Behavioural Therapy and Cognitive Restructuring Therapy which is used to restructure how you think and substitute the negative thoughts with positive thinking. Alot of people have an irrational perception of themselves which everyone else around them knows isn't true. For example: "I'm a shitty person" or "I always fuck things up" "everyone hates me" "I'm so stupid" and "I should just die." Honestly? I've probably thought every single one of those, more frequently when I was depressed. In the end you've got to view things in a realistic way, yes there will always be people that dislike you but that's mainly because they don't understand you or don't agree with your opinions/views. Even if you have given them a reason not to like you, you probably did it for a reason so no big deal! Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks because the most important thing is what YOU think of yourself. As you've probably heard before you are your own worst critic. So even if people do think bad things about you, just realise it doesn't make it true. Only YOU believing them will make it true.
Realistically, nobody is perfect and even the most confident and successful people have these thoughts about themselves now and then. Everybody just wants to be accepted in some way, and we will always make mistakes. If you think like this though, and it starts to get obsessive then you will end up giving yourself anxiety or depression or making your own mental illness worse, so why do it to yourself? - Relax!
No one really wants you to die! Not everybody in the world hates you - they don't even know you! As soon as you stop getting yourself worked up about things and think positively you'll see life very differently.
Another thing you can do is actually think about what is stressing and upsetting you and ask yourself "Why do I feel this way?" "Is there any point in worrying about this?" "Will this matter in a few years, or even in a week?" Just tell yourself the truth, you're cleverer, stronger and better than you think. Reality check: You'll get through problems and achieve your goals if you give yourself a chance.
Again the only person causing you stress and problems is yourself - because you're letting yourself get worked up. You are in complete control of the person you are, no one can change what you don't like about yourself apart from you. As i've said you're most likely very wrong about yourself anyway but if you really don't like something about yourself then motivate yourself and change it, no one else is going to. Don't expect everyone else to appreciate, respect and treat you right if you can't even do it yourself. They probably will still think nice things about you, because they know you're a good person really. Their opinion of you hasn't been altered with negative thoughts. Only it won't matter what they think if you're thinking negatively - because you won't listen. Please listen to them - they're right. The people close to you love you, so love yourself.
I'm not just lecturing those with depression and anxiety, I'm talking from experience. I know what it's like and I just want to help people to feel better as I know how those thoughts can get so bad they actually fuck up lives. Positive thinking - It may sound stupid at the moment, but it really works!
I've been having a hard time myself lately, I've had millions of negative thoughts and I've felt "not good enough" and insecure.
I didn't go to therapy, I just had a realisation that I am important and I deserve to be happy. See, positive thinking helps. The therapy just helps for when you can't come to that conclusion on your own. Sometimes it does take an extra push from someone to motivate you to take the scary steps when you're unsure about whether you can do something, but if you want it you should always try. I would never have applied for university if a certain someone hadn't encouraged me to do so, I've always wanted to do psychology yet I just figured it'd be too hard. If I do well in my course, I now know I can go to University after all and if I try hard I can live my dream. It cost me quite a bit of money but if you can't spend money on your own well being then what can you spend it on?
I know some things that happen in life are seriously less than ideal, and it's hard to stop thinking about them and getting emotional sometimes. Especially when you lose someone because of death, a break up or someone close is moving away. The thing is unfortunately you can't do anything about it sometimes so there is no point feeling sad even though sometimes it's inevitable. Just know that those around you will be supportive at these times (even if you don't think so, someone will) and no one wants you to feel shitty and upset.
Anyway guys, I'm basically saying don't hate yourselves or your situation because when you think about it there is usually always a silver lining to a bad situation and it's never as bad as you let yourself think. Anyway making mistakes helps you learn, having flaws help you to improve, negative experiences make you stronger. Even when things go wrong, that doesn't make you a failure. Even when someone doesn't like you, that doesn't mean you're not a likable person and when things seem to hit rock bottom it's still not the end of the world. Things get better and you can speed up the process by being an optimist.
It's your life, so live it to it's fullest.
I love you <3
