i'd like a new weekend, please...
it all started on friday with a pointless argument with a very good friend. although this friend is wise and full of good intention, he often overlooks that some people just think and deal with things differently and i think he misunderstood what i was on about. i had already solved the problem, i was just relaying the info. we were both a bit on edge, so it just went horribly wrong.
work was really long and busy, but filled with a feeling i couldn't help but smile about. unfortunately that feeling, led me into disappointment later on. but drinks and talks with good people and friends made it seem ok.
saturday just sucked. i drank to deal with my impending hurt, i once again felt blown off by friends and then found myself on the floor in a flow of tears i hadn't felt in a long time at some absurd hour. something inside hurt so badly but i tried to tell myself i was wrong, but i think i just knew that everything had changed and that i wasn't wrong....
i dreaded sunday. i had a photoshoot with jmp in the afternoon and a gig at the Axe at 1am. to make a long story short, i was able to sort things out from the night before. i felt really bad for over reacting and making it seem like i was entitled to be invited out. i honestly felt rather foolish and spent the rest of the day relaxed thinking that it was all going to be ok....
on a good note, the shoot went really well. i am keeping the details a secret cos i am really excited about it.
the gig went pretty well too. i decided to climb on or hang from everything i could find, only to realise that whilst hanging from the wooden frame above one of the big mirrors, i had cracked the moulding and almost fell. ooops... i climbed speakers, swung from frames and hung from anything. we stayed for a bit with some friends, but from my shoot, weekend, dancing and drinking i began feeling too hot and almost passed out. we decided to go out as it was getting a bit strange in there as well. neither of us could manage to walk home very well, we stumbled and swayed and vision blurred... it was funny and happy and very much the kind of thing we enjoy. then there was that whole violent retching for the smallest bit of vomit ever that has left me with a sore throat and aching abs. i am not even sure what came out, but it burned and smelled awful. mostly stomach acid i am guessing due to the absence of food.
was still a good night with only a few slight twinges of disappointment and that nagging sense of uncertainty.....i fell asleep thinking maybe it's alright and i just need to relax and take it day by day...
but morning came and no matter how hard i try to forget it, i can't....
before i asked, i knew the answer....
i gave back something that meant a lot to me even tho i seldom used it and was never sure why it was given to. i didn't take it as a sign of something huge or symbolic, but it meant something to me. the sound of it hitting the floor was louder than i expected. i regret giving it back, but i couldn't keep it and i don't think i'll ever need to use it again....
she paused by the door, shaking and crying. she couldn't bring herself to open it yet hated herself for every moment she thought about staying. her heart broke as she stepped outside knowing, for her, it could never be the same again...
as good as i am at running away, i can't bear the thought of not having him around. it's been a long time and he's been so many things to me. my love for him is based on so many things and on many levels that i don't even understand it or know how to deal with it. everything we've done and been thru, especially recently, just made sense. some of it took me by surprise and i wouldn't change a thing. i dunno if i can continue any sort of friendship with him in the future, just the thought of being near him hurts too much...
Still Around - Magnolia Electric Comapny
to make you stay Ill never try
and when you go I will not cry
but for awhile I might be found
somewhere near, still around
and may you find a love thats true
someone to love and cherish you
and may you love as I love you
and if you ever feel alone
with no true love to call you own
and if you need a place to hide
these arms of mine are open wide
and if a cold love brings you pain
my love is warm as summer rain always
remember Ill be found, still around
]
it all started on friday with a pointless argument with a very good friend. although this friend is wise and full of good intention, he often overlooks that some people just think and deal with things differently and i think he misunderstood what i was on about. i had already solved the problem, i was just relaying the info. we were both a bit on edge, so it just went horribly wrong.
work was really long and busy, but filled with a feeling i couldn't help but smile about. unfortunately that feeling, led me into disappointment later on. but drinks and talks with good people and friends made it seem ok.
saturday just sucked. i drank to deal with my impending hurt, i once again felt blown off by friends and then found myself on the floor in a flow of tears i hadn't felt in a long time at some absurd hour. something inside hurt so badly but i tried to tell myself i was wrong, but i think i just knew that everything had changed and that i wasn't wrong....
i dreaded sunday. i had a photoshoot with jmp in the afternoon and a gig at the Axe at 1am. to make a long story short, i was able to sort things out from the night before. i felt really bad for over reacting and making it seem like i was entitled to be invited out. i honestly felt rather foolish and spent the rest of the day relaxed thinking that it was all going to be ok....
on a good note, the shoot went really well. i am keeping the details a secret cos i am really excited about it.
the gig went pretty well too. i decided to climb on or hang from everything i could find, only to realise that whilst hanging from the wooden frame above one of the big mirrors, i had cracked the moulding and almost fell. ooops... i climbed speakers, swung from frames and hung from anything. we stayed for a bit with some friends, but from my shoot, weekend, dancing and drinking i began feeling too hot and almost passed out. we decided to go out as it was getting a bit strange in there as well. neither of us could manage to walk home very well, we stumbled and swayed and vision blurred... it was funny and happy and very much the kind of thing we enjoy. then there was that whole violent retching for the smallest bit of vomit ever that has left me with a sore throat and aching abs. i am not even sure what came out, but it burned and smelled awful. mostly stomach acid i am guessing due to the absence of food.
was still a good night with only a few slight twinges of disappointment and that nagging sense of uncertainty.....i fell asleep thinking maybe it's alright and i just need to relax and take it day by day...
but morning came and no matter how hard i try to forget it, i can't....
before i asked, i knew the answer....
i gave back something that meant a lot to me even tho i seldom used it and was never sure why it was given to. i didn't take it as a sign of something huge or symbolic, but it meant something to me. the sound of it hitting the floor was louder than i expected. i regret giving it back, but i couldn't keep it and i don't think i'll ever need to use it again....
she paused by the door, shaking and crying. she couldn't bring herself to open it yet hated herself for every moment she thought about staying. her heart broke as she stepped outside knowing, for her, it could never be the same again...
as good as i am at running away, i can't bear the thought of not having him around. it's been a long time and he's been so many things to me. my love for him is based on so many things and on many levels that i don't even understand it or know how to deal with it. everything we've done and been thru, especially recently, just made sense. some of it took me by surprise and i wouldn't change a thing. i dunno if i can continue any sort of friendship with him in the future, just the thought of being near him hurts too much...
Still Around - Magnolia Electric Comapny
to make you stay Ill never try
and when you go I will not cry
but for awhile I might be found
somewhere near, still around
and may you find a love thats true
someone to love and cherish you
and may you love as I love you
and if you ever feel alone
with no true love to call you own
and if you need a place to hide
these arms of mine are open wide
and if a cold love brings you pain
my love is warm as summer rain always
remember Ill be found, still around
]
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
did they ever tell you why that set was rejected?