desormais

so...i suppose it's not ironic, but entirely fitting anyway, is that i had ANOTHER blackout yesterday. i don't remember much, and thankfully i think my amitriptyline limited my time, but it's still scary waking up at 4am and not knowing where you are or what you've been doing for the past 8 hours.

apparently i sent mercie a nigh uncomprehensible text message (and i had another unsent one that made slightly more sense). something about spilling something (which i found why i was wearing different shorts; apparently i spilled stuff on my other ones) and something else about how everyone hates me.

so...i don't remember, but if i did/said anything last night to offend anybody, i'm really sorry, i was acting completely under a different consciousness. really. and that's scary as hell.

and holy SHIT are these depakote enormous! damn, they're like horse pills! and gray, too, that's a new one on me. i'm used to like a pale blue/orangeish or white one.

also, here's a beautiful song i've been listening to for a few months now (i love shoegazer...so much.)

The Postmarks - OX4 (ride cover) - click on the jukebox to play it in the top right