thanks to 666irish for the party. it was neat for the few hours we were there. it was nice to see sanguine, play rock band with airyk and look nice with mercie at least (even if i look like shit in those photos).
everything else was full of awkwardness, talking to a few decent people whose names i didn't really catch, and being a giant disappointment for someone.
also had a dream that my ex (who looked like a cross between my actual ex and someone i know) came back, wanted me back, we'd work things out...everything was going fine, i remember being so relieved, and kissing her in the snow.
then i get a text from someone she hates about something she hates; she asks to see it for some reason, saying "we shouldn't have any secrets. it's just us now, you got rid of all the bad things in your life didn't you?"
woke up crying because things'll never change, and i'm an asshole.
everything else was full of awkwardness, talking to a few decent people whose names i didn't really catch, and being a giant disappointment for someone.
also had a dream that my ex (who looked like a cross between my actual ex and someone i know) came back, wanted me back, we'd work things out...everything was going fine, i remember being so relieved, and kissing her in the snow.
then i get a text from someone she hates about something she hates; she asks to see it for some reason, saying "we shouldn't have any secrets. it's just us now, you got rid of all the bad things in your life didn't you?"
woke up crying because things'll never change, and i'm an asshole.
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Dream: That happens to me every now and then as well. It's rewound through some relative universe's events that are skewed in time and detail, at steadily increasing reversed speeds (two backwards arrows, three..) and over my past two relationships just to reinforce my careful consideration of this former friend as my only true love so far. My result is usually a feeling of betrayal by my own subconscious, but do you ever feel grateful in contrast for that time your dream granted you that the actual person probably wouldn't?