dentedlion

3-23-07

1:26 am

Sometimes you find yourself out in the rain. Smoking a cigarette, of course. Tears fall, rain falls, you're not as alone as you imagine. Sometimes you listen to music that pulls you into the pit or self-pity or just plain self-absorption.
Nothing is as bad as it looks? Are you fucking kidding me? You must be! This is the worst. Our existence is testament to nothing but sorrow. We're here to destroy and rebuild and destroy. Environmentally, Politically, Religiously, Economically, Personally. EPREP.

Anyway.

I'm there. You're there. I'm alone when I go to bed. Alone when I wake. I'm alone. I'm still try to fill the void you've left. I can't stop crying. I'm taking too many pills and drinking too often. I'm so unhappy. It makes me feel even less happy when I realize that this low point is one of the happiest times in my life. I wish I could stop crying. I wish things were easier.

I have nothing to offer the universe or anyone. I am so full or plans and ideas that I can't focus on anyone else's plans and ideas.