dekatzmeow

This morning I decided to write a bit but figured I would have more drama to talk about after I got back from the MVA so I waited. So here it is kids:

Let me start off letting you know it's all the crack head's fault. Everything wrong in my life can somehow be traced back to her, lol. Well, after her nasty little vermin she calls children totally fucked up my motorcycle, I began parking it across the street since they lived next door. If you've never parked a motorcycle, you back it up to the curb at an angle. For the rest of the summer no one fucked with it, I thought I had won.

It came in the mail. It was a red light ticket, not my first. I looked at it and couldn't in my life figure out when I had last been at this intersection, if I had even been there at all. That's when I saw it. In Maryland they actually send you a picture of you running the light. I'm looking it thinking, "hmmm, I'm looking a little chunky from behind," when I figured it out. While I was bitching to myself for eating all of those extra Berger cookies, I realized my long hair wasn't there. Then I realized it was a fucking crotch rocket while I have a cruiser. So, I've got this big shit eating grin thinking, "ha! More Berger cookies for me!"

How could this have happened? I went over to my baby and sure enough someone had fucking stolen my license plate. How ghetto? Well, I figured the plate had a rainbow sticker on it so big bad thug was advertising he was a faggot. I let it go, knowing I just have to take a picture of my bike and go to court. No judge, even in Baltimore city, could see this was bogus. I started to breathe again and wait for my court date.

Well the court date came and passed. An extremely important colleague and friend died that day. Right there on the job, out in front of the building. No health problems and he's just gone. Since I work with emotionally disturbed teens, I was assigned the task of informing my units of what happened. I do this, feeling like the Grim Reaper, after many debriefing meetings. My kids fell apart, I was a mess, guess you can figure I didn't go to court.

So, I write the judge and requested another court date. I got a letter back saying they got it and would mail me the date. I also got a letter from the MVA saying that my unpaid ticket resulted in a flag on my driver's license. Fuck, if I get pulled over in my car, it's going to be a huge mess. I don't have to give the Baltimore city police any reason to fuck with me. So I pay the $30 fee to have it removed. This was in March of this year.

June comes I still haven't heard anything. My bike registration expires on the last day of the month and they won't let me renew it with the outstanding ticket. I call the parking fines office, waited on hold for a fucking hour, for them to tell me that I should pay the ticket and then get "refunded" by the court once I got a date before the judge. Yeah right. I'm getting a refund from the city? I'm blessed I get trash service! I'm not giving them any money. So I wait. In the mean time, I go to the MVA and pay a replacement fee to get another tag so the bike doesn't get towed.

The beautiful spring weather comes and goes. I don't take the bike out rationalizing that it was too fucking hot anyway. In July I get on the parking fines website and just pay for the fucking thing. Screw this, a girl has to ride! I print out the receipt thinking I had it covered. I was so silly. I kept checking the MVA website and they still wouldn't let me renew. Although I had paid to remove the "flag" and the original ticket, the site isn't updating and allowing me to do anything.

That brings me to today, the very exciting adventure you have all be waiting to hear about. I had taken today off since I'm probably going to work next Monday over the holiday I get up bright and early at 10am. C'mon people, help me out! 10am IS early! I take all of my paperwork and head out to the MVA. Although I was giving in to the man, I was determined not to let that fucking punk-assed kid ruin my summer.

The nearest MVA is out in Essex and I end up spending an additional hour getting lost and trying to find the fucking place. I walk in and go to the waiting line for Information. I get up there, she gives me a form and tells me to fill it out and come back. I do. I wait in this line until it gets up to me and she informs me she wanted me to wait in the next line over?! Anyway, she looks over my paperwork and gives it back to me with a listing of addresses. She says I need to call the parking fine office at this number and have them fax a "release of the flag" to her at her fax number.

Now, I know I can't get faxes at work in a timely manner so I'm trying to envision faxing something to the MVA. But, I have faith. I call the people (who told me to pay the ticket in the first place) and get to wait on the phone for another 40 minutes. Now, keep in mind it's hot and loud so I walk through the shopping center ducking into shops to cool off. I'm so worried I'll walk too far into the store and my connection would die but it was so loud near the doors. So, it gets to be my turn. She fucking hangs up on me! WTF????

It's now about an hour later, I go back to the MVA and plead with the information woman to help me. She gives me that "sorry babe" look and I got back into my car. I would not be defeated. I remember getting a letter saying the flag was released. I'll just go home and look through the papers on my desk. I wouldn't have thrown it away, right?

Fucking- A! I can't find it. I make some lunch and call the fines office back again. I figure, I'll just have them fax it to my work and I'd take care of this whole clusterfuck another day. After another 45 minutes on hold they tell me that can't fax it to me. They can fax it to the MVA office but I am no longer there. The only other option she gives me coming to the office downtown. I fucking hate driving in Baltimore. I get lost some more, check out some scenery, and finally finding a place to park (only $6) a few blocks a way. The people in the office look at me like a nut (I'm getting used to this) and say there's no flag so I don't need anything for the MVA. I talked to a supervisor and refused to leave until they gave me something in writing saying that. I find out the closest MVA to this office is Mondowin (sp?) Mall. The chic at the office gives me these elaborate directions, you know like all animated. Now, I have a hard time determining my hands from my feet and she thinks I'm going to be able to drive to this place before it closes in 30 minutes?

I take off, getting lost again. Somehow the universe got me to the mall. Fifteen minutes left. Get this; the office doesn't have any fucking parking! I have to park on the other side of the mall and hoof it in the heat. I get through their Information line and get the golden ticket to wait my turn on the other side of the place. I'm dying and soaked in sweat. I walk over to the vending machine to get something to drink. After anxiously tearing my only $20 dollar bill in half trying to find a dollar, the fucking machine won't take it my money.

I give up; race over to see if my number has been called. It's up on the screen and I ran to the cashier, give her all of my stuff and within 30 seconds miraculously she presents me with a new registration sticker. Somehow I made it through before they locked their doors. Awesome.

So I made it home without getting lost. I'm now sitting in my room in the air conditioning just beginning to enjoy my day off. It's after 6pm. Phoebe has been listening intently next to me on the bed while I tell this story. She's tearing up her bone and tore all of the legs off of the dinosaur toy I gave her. Why can't my life be that simple? LOL.