decembermarie

I feel awful. I'm with Brian. I love Brian. Things are tough but we work through them. But here's the thing...I've been having alot of dreams about my ex. In these dreams, I leave Brian for him. I wake up missing him and I beat myself up because Brian is laying next to me and I feel like I'm cheating on him. My relationship with my ex was just very different than this one...it was like a fairytale. I was so madly in love with him. I know fairytales aren't real and after the hardest breakup I've ever been through, I got over him. I still thought about him, but it was because I wish we could have stayed friends. And now recently, I dunno. I know my ex is not a threat to Brian and I...he lives out of state with his new girlfriend now. I'm not jealous of her (which I kind of expected to be). I've messaged him a few times just to say hi and that I hope he's well. But he never responds. I know he doesn't miss me or even wanna be friends. I just wish I could make these thoughts and dreams go away.