davonshire

everything is going right... work is good, I enjoy it, I actually like my job. My marriage is good, I love my wife and I am for the most part very happy.... but there is this hollow feeling inside my chest. I don't know what it is or where it comes from,,, there is just the feeling that something is about to go terribly terribly wrong. Like I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop... I don't get it... it kind of scares me. Maybe it scares me now more so than it used to, because things are so right. When things were bleak, it was easy to have that uneasy feeling, if you will, after all, life was grey... but now, now that there is vivid colour in my vision, I am afraid... because I have something real to lose.... maybe that is what it is...

since I have started worked and left school... I have not written a single word for myself, not fiction, non-fiction or blogging... nothing... why is that I wonder? I should be pouring creative energy into something... instead I am just vegetating on the couch in front of the TV after work every day.... writing is good for me, when I do it. I have to make that a part of what I do, have that outlet... now the trick is to do it