I've been thinking a lot about humans today. Which is rare for me, I normally prefer to think about different ways to create a practical yet historic looking faux cobble stone, to use on streets in theme parks set in the future with a section dedicated to how people in the future may choose to remember the past. You know, because brain time is valuable,...
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Today is Thanksgiving, somewhere or something, and apparently that's about giving thanks, something I'm an EXPERT at.
Now I'm no expert in thanks, nor gratitude, ESPECIALLY gratitude, if I'm honest, because I like to shorten it to 'tude', to be fun and playful, and yet when I say 'hey bra, let me peg some tude in your face, just spit tude right at ya, I... Read More
If it turned out that the cat I'd owned and loved for twenty-two years had actually always been a giant turtle in disguise, I think the following would immediately race through my mind..
'Did Scott put you up to this? He did didn't he? Fuck him. He swore, SWORE he'd get me back for hiding that book of poetry by T.S Eliot in his sandwich...
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A simple trip to the zoo.
'It was a simple trip to the zoo' he said describing what he had intended.
'Let's take a simple trip to the zoo?' Frank had suggested earlier that day.
'Oh I'll take a simple trip to the zoo' Greta had replied enthusiastically to Franks suggestion.
But it would not turn out simple.
And it would not turn out to...
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I don't know about all of you, but I love Science. Science has facts, lighting things on fire and sometimes even things made out of material so unstable that you can't hold it without wearing gloves! That's not just bad ass, but a perfect metaphor for how I feel about gnats.
Here's the thing though, when I like something it always ends up becoming super...
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‘All the decent mega-mansions are in really boring neighborhoods’ said the sad billionaire with tears in his eyes.
‘Why can’t I just find a nice twenty bedroom plus place, with more than one pool, a full sized cinema, a banquet room, tennis courts in more than one surface, and a side pool house bigger than most upper middle-class people could ever dream of owning, that...
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There was a log on the fire. A wooden log.
The second thing was that the fire was in the living room.
That's the first thing that made me think something was wrong.
The second thing was that the fire was in the living room.
On a table.
A wooden table.
We were already at two things that made me think something was wrong.
But thinking is not knowing.
The third thing that made me think that...
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I just saw a BMW commercial saying 'experience the ideas of tomorrow today'. Sounds exciting right?
Really fucking exciting. Tomorrow is the future for fucks sake, that's almost time travel! In a car. How did no one ever think of such a thing before?
I was about to drop everything and sprint to the BMW shop as fast as possible (apparently they don't deliver. Um...
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milbond:
This was an entertaining read!
When the carousel stops.
It's gears rusty.
It's horses dusty.
It's memories musty like an old man's cigarette and whisky phlegm coughed into an jar of mustard hoping one of his grandchildren will beg for yet 'another fucking hotdog grampa'.
'In my day we didn't say fucking to elders you little shits.'
'In your day you were too busy hoping a dinosaur wouldn't sit on...
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