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As a professional awesome guy, one of the things I spend much of my energy on is trying to make sure I never find myself without some form of entertainment in front of me coming out of TVs, speakers, musical instruments, and even real life faces sometimes, in a desperate hope that I'll never be forced to face pure silence and have to listen...
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I got a haircut yesterday - and yes, thank you, I wanted to look like a bearded lesbian, I am glad you noticed, approve and more than that applaud me for it. You are all very sweet and generous people, and I will most certainly take your compliments, love, and praise and pack them into the small hole I keep below my left pancreas, which is...
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I know what your thinking, 'I own an awesome cannon, but how do I know if the bottom may need a scrub?'

Fear not, my fellow canon owners, by which I assume I mean all of you - here are some very simple signs that have the ability to signify to you that it is time to get down and scrub that beautiful cannon bottom of...
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I have made a decision, right now, to write a clean blog. A totally, completely, unquestionably clean blog. A blog completely absent of filth, controversial themes, naughty words, or even my usual favorite, downright psychotic imagery.
‘Why the fuck do you want to do that?’ I hear you ask.
And I must say, please don’t think swear words at me, I mean normally you...
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It's time for me to start posting some shit again, or re-start, or continue after a long break, like a starting again from a previous ending, which wasn't really an ending, meaning it's not really a start, but you know, hello everyone!

Point is, as the above line above can attest to, I need to just start damn blogging and tweeting and...
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So my new book is out, its about all the most embarrassing things that have ever happened to me, and mental illness, lots of mental illness, and overcoming that stuff!!! Or making it worse, you know, it's a slippery slope...


http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AZK8VII/ref=cm_cr_mts_prod_img
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
hanke:
congrats boy! one of my dreams is to write a book!
davidtieck:
Thank you!!! And good luck Hanke, just write what inspires you and you'll do great smile
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A gift from me a new hair metal ballad

The other day I saw Aerosmith and Cheap Trick, and it was awesome. Yet a few things hit me up front.

- There are still actually people who will verbally complain at you if you stand up at a rock concert
- These people epitomize everything I hate in the world
- Except for cliff diving not being an...
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Inside the mind of a crazy person


On the train - An insight into my mind

On way to the metro station I counted all of my coins, and prepared myself with the exact right change for the ticket machine before I arrived.

I had a pocket full of change but I had to count it just in case I wouldnt have enough change for the...
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And now in really simple riddles
What is the gender of the author of the following quote?

'Reece Witherspoon has only gotten more beautiful since having children'

a. A man
b. A woman
c. You are a sexist douche-bag for writing this blog
d. She never was beautiful, let alone now MORE beautiful
e. Chocolate and peanut butter should never make love
f. A transgender...
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Lesbians are beautiful
I had long hair for about six long years.

HAD long hair.

In the middle of the night, around a ten days ago, I was feeling inspired by a beautiful two month long insomnia bout, mixed together with watching lots of Californication while thinking 'I'm a writer too, if I had that haircut would I get all those women throwing themselves...
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Dear Expert
I'm glad I don't write a 'Dear Abby' advice column because then even the birthday song becomes a request for advice:

'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday Dear Abby'
'Wait wait wait, seriously youre going to throw one of those at me now? Give me a break for fucks sake, how dare you try to make me...
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