daveydarko

Reach Out and Touch Faith

My own personal Jesus would be Tera Patrick bc she's fucking coming to Btown! It's gonna be like ten Halloweens! I'm gonna peel that grape, sucker.

OK, it's actually been a while since I've been to the store. I fig that when you don't find porn, porn finds you.. and her name will be Tera.

I swear, porn is the new church. I mean, if masturbation were prayer, then I'd be the fucking pope. And he's fucking dead as a doornail. John Paul was a righty, god bless him. There will probably be less than 2 million people to see my lifeless flambouyantly-robed corpse. But I'm not one to be premature.

If anyone's ever been to Camden Yards, Big Mario - of Big Mario's Pizza - looks like none other than Ron Jeremy. It's true. You can check. And get super greasy while you're at it.

And while I'm on a food/porn rant. Lemme just say that a pork sandwich just isn't as good as a PULLED pork sandwich. I thought old Boog still had it but I was sadly mistaken. The smoking job was too long and i had some dried out slabs on a torn kaiser roll. Another day at the park.

In other tittie news, silicone implants still suck ass. Don't ever get em. I recommend saline, but what do I know. I bet there's a secret titty lab at Hopkins where they do nothing but watch old episodes of Three's Company, doing historical analysis of Suzanne Somers - right up to the thighmaster campaign of 1994.

products.

One thing about seared animal flesh is that it gives you some serious stomach fatigue. Stomach says to brain, don't fuck with me bitch! Going a day without rice is like traveling to Silver Spring Maryland, where they're prejudiced against Asian grains.