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Pretty OK

OK, when the president comes to a local high school, you're sposed to create some sort of ruckus. This means, I gotta have more bullhorn!

When you want to make old people starve to death, like my buddy Kyle, some people would call you a sadistic fuck. But do that on a national tour to promote the idea and they'll call you the...
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Enjoy Your Sunday

For as far back as I can remember, Sundays are damn fun. That is, unless you can drink a fifth of vodka on Saturday.

Point is, I'd rather nurse myself out of a hangover than sit in a church and get lectured. I do the lecturing around my apartment. And there will be no pop quiz.

If only religions were based on...
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
nicolletta:
mmm... a love ballad!
ja
pixiewixie:
watching "kids in the hall all" day long, sounds good to me...
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THEN GOD CREATED TERA... AND PIZZA

IF I had to choose one or the other, I'd go with Pizza. Because it never lets me down. Sometimes Tera Patrick lets me down because she gets plastic titties and marries some guy from Biohazard. But with Pizza, even shitty pizza, I'm satisfied - yet I could always go for another slice. At least one good thing's come...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
yeknomyknuf:
I'm all for the fire-spitting bees part.
nimhly:
I think i just hit your car in the parking lot, sorry about that.
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MEMORANDUMB

Thanks for coming to the show last night everyone! We had a blast - an ass blast. OK, maybe that was just me. But it was tons of fun and our first real show - at that.

I do want to say that frozen Natty Boh is much better than room-temp Natty Both. So, as the marketing chief of Natty Boh Industries, I'd like...
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shera:
I like Tera Patrick....but I think the real boob thing is a lie
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VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
morrigan77:
Yes. Meow. Julie ain't so bad herself...
lilyk:
snooshi...

how did you end up in my journal?

wink
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Chicken Tenders

Chicken tenders are always good. It's hard to fuck up something like a tender. When you live that close to a breast, it's hard to let people down. Of course, beer batter is where it's at. It's been a while since I've beer battered anything... hide your dildos ladies.

In other news, Saturday rocked - literally. It's been over two years since I've...
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april:
thanks so much for the birthday wishes. i had a great one biggrin

-ape kiss
starryeyed:
I miss having a car! I used to drive anywhere just to get away for a while. What a great thing. I wish I could drive to Maine, or Cape Cod right now...
sigh.
confused
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Reach Out and Touch Faith

My own personal Jesus would be Tera Patrick bc she's fucking coming to Btown! It's gonna be like ten Halloweens! I'm gonna peel that grape, sucker.

OK, it's actually been a while since I've been to the store. I fig that when you don't find porn, porn finds you.. and her name will be Tera.

I swear, porn is the...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
sarahjane:
oh i want tera!

give her a good ass smack for me wink
fragglerocker:
Rachel Rotten is way hotter than Tera...but we dont sell Rachel pussys at my work but we have Tera's. But there was a hot pic of Rachel in this months avn. I love working at the porn store. tongue
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THIS UPDATE IS DEDICATED TO THE GOOD FUCKERS, AND THOSE WHO WANT TO BE GOOD FUCKERS

OK, today gonna see the O's play. Get a pulled pork sammich at Boog's. Get sauced and full of peanuts till the O's take whoever the hell they're playing to the fucking cleaners. And by cleaners I mean the shitcan.

So tomorrow's gonna be Gtown, gotta get that weekly...
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xip:
The day Mitch died, I smoked a commemorative bowl and waved goodbye to dozens of private sex fantasies. I've never had a celebrity I *cared* about die before. It feels weird. I never understood until now, I actually do feel like I lost someone I cared about. Moreso than oh say a co-worker.
xip
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Must've Been Live

OK, so last night we had this ritzy hotel banquet equipped w/ filet and crabcakes. Normally, I don't dig on 20 dollar rare bloody steaks but since this was a free event, I had seconds. I mean, I didn't want to disappoint the mayor, did I?

But then I got that overstimulated feeling and I had to get on back to watch...
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VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
dufforama:
ARRR!!! AAAARRRRGGGG
lipstickbetty:
what do you do?