Tonight was a crazy fucking night. Its a long, and to you mostly pointess story, so be aware.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
I played in a band for about five or six years. We rocked fairly hard for kids. Its some of the best times of my life. Kurt, our drummer, dies this week in a snow mobile crash.
Matt, was our bass player. Matt one of my closest friends, like a brother, up untill about a year ago. He and i and just about everyone else and him, had a major falling out about a year ago, and we havent talked since. Havent even finish a bunch of tattoo work on him. Nothing. Matt called me the other day to tell me that the guys would reasemble tonight at applesbess, about 30 min from my house. We would have a drink and smile one more time for Kurt.
For the first time in a year, the gang assembled at this applebess, along with a few others that were close to us back then. Dudes that carried amps at all our shows, and partied with us after them.
Sara Beth. Sara Beth and i dated shortly about 8 years ago. She was insaine. Super cute, but fuckin mental. We did not end well. When i went out tonight in the odd, nostalgic, eery ghost of days yore....they sat us in a seat in front of Sara Beth. I got stopped as i was walkin to our table , by a kid who remembered me from that band years ago oddly enough. When i meet up with my already seated friends i mentioned quietly as girls began to come up in our talks of old time, that the woman behiend us was an ex of mine, so to watch certain things being said. They told me that would explain why she was shooting me dirty looks when i was talking to that guy over there.
Awesome. Right? Gets better.
Matt tells me that he is about to be a father. We talk and rmemeber, and suddenly i feel like myself again for the first time in a good 3 or four years. I feel crazy. I feel like i was full volume, and could suprise the world again. I didnt feel like i have been for so long. It was like drugs. Like amazing crazy movie star drugs. We drink to Kurt and when the booze runs dry, we order another round, Too many of us for just our waitress to carry alone.
Jessica. Along with our waitress and round two of our drinks, come another waitess to help carry them. She is stunning. The kind you see in your dreams. So out of any real persons reach. Wait a minute. I have dreamed about this very girl. Thats why she looks so familiar too. She looks like jess. Jess was another of my ex's. dated her as well when i was way younger. About 8 years ago as well. I fucked up big with her. I ruined maybe could have been something that your kids would read about in the great love stories of the future.I never forgot that face, or the lesson learned, or the dreams that haunted me for a long time. The waitress's name take confirmed it. She was jess, in the flesh, handing me a hieneken and a shot to 1800, sitting next to what used to be my family, in front of another ex from just as long ago. Drinking to kurt, who would have been there too. He would have said something he shouldnt have, a little too loud, at just that moment. But kurt would have expected something from me. He would have expected me to be the kid he knew. The man of action, and the intesity of honesty that drove so many people away.
We drank, paid, and got up to leave. Inccident free all dinner. That wasnt me at all. That wasnt who these people knew me as. And i was realizing i was more at home in thier memories of me than i am in this way i am now. I stoped at the door and told my friends i would catch up in the lot. The looked at me confused as i turned and walked over to jess cleaning a table. Its been 8 years....The thought trails off in the back of my mind as i approche. My legs didnt shake, my head was held well above my shoulders, my walk: a mirror image of the stride it used to be. Stronger, more determined. My friends looked at me like people used to. Cautious, but intently. Like waiting to turn the page of a really good book.
"Hey, your name is jess xxxxxx, right?"
"Yeah."
"Im not sure what you still remember, but you and i..."
Wolves will be wolves, no matter whos skin they're in.
Matt asked me to be in a new band he was starting. All they needed was me he said.
My art is my love, and will keep me far too busy to dream or being a rockstar, but it will be alot of fun again. And it will feel like me again more often, untill it become the norm again. Im so happy.
I played in a band for about five or six years. We rocked fairly hard for kids. Its some of the best times of my life. Kurt, our drummer, dies this week in a snow mobile crash.
Matt, was our bass player. Matt one of my closest friends, like a brother, up untill about a year ago. He and i and just about everyone else and him, had a major falling out about a year ago, and we havent talked since. Havent even finish a bunch of tattoo work on him. Nothing. Matt called me the other day to tell me that the guys would reasemble tonight at applesbess, about 30 min from my house. We would have a drink and smile one more time for Kurt.
For the first time in a year, the gang assembled at this applebess, along with a few others that were close to us back then. Dudes that carried amps at all our shows, and partied with us after them.
Sara Beth. Sara Beth and i dated shortly about 8 years ago. She was insaine. Super cute, but fuckin mental. We did not end well. When i went out tonight in the odd, nostalgic, eery ghost of days yore....they sat us in a seat in front of Sara Beth. I got stopped as i was walkin to our table , by a kid who remembered me from that band years ago oddly enough. When i meet up with my already seated friends i mentioned quietly as girls began to come up in our talks of old time, that the woman behiend us was an ex of mine, so to watch certain things being said. They told me that would explain why she was shooting me dirty looks when i was talking to that guy over there.
Awesome. Right? Gets better.
Matt tells me that he is about to be a father. We talk and rmemeber, and suddenly i feel like myself again for the first time in a good 3 or four years. I feel crazy. I feel like i was full volume, and could suprise the world again. I didnt feel like i have been for so long. It was like drugs. Like amazing crazy movie star drugs. We drink to Kurt and when the booze runs dry, we order another round, Too many of us for just our waitress to carry alone.
Jessica. Along with our waitress and round two of our drinks, come another waitess to help carry them. She is stunning. The kind you see in your dreams. So out of any real persons reach. Wait a minute. I have dreamed about this very girl. Thats why she looks so familiar too. She looks like jess. Jess was another of my ex's. dated her as well when i was way younger. About 8 years ago as well. I fucked up big with her. I ruined maybe could have been something that your kids would read about in the great love stories of the future.I never forgot that face, or the lesson learned, or the dreams that haunted me for a long time. The waitress's name take confirmed it. She was jess, in the flesh, handing me a hieneken and a shot to 1800, sitting next to what used to be my family, in front of another ex from just as long ago. Drinking to kurt, who would have been there too. He would have said something he shouldnt have, a little too loud, at just that moment. But kurt would have expected something from me. He would have expected me to be the kid he knew. The man of action, and the intesity of honesty that drove so many people away.
We drank, paid, and got up to leave. Inccident free all dinner. That wasnt me at all. That wasnt who these people knew me as. And i was realizing i was more at home in thier memories of me than i am in this way i am now. I stoped at the door and told my friends i would catch up in the lot. The looked at me confused as i turned and walked over to jess cleaning a table. Its been 8 years....The thought trails off in the back of my mind as i approche. My legs didnt shake, my head was held well above my shoulders, my walk: a mirror image of the stride it used to be. Stronger, more determined. My friends looked at me like people used to. Cautious, but intently. Like waiting to turn the page of a really good book.
"Hey, your name is jess xxxxxx, right?"
"Yeah."
"Im not sure what you still remember, but you and i..."
Wolves will be wolves, no matter whos skin they're in.
Matt asked me to be in a new band he was starting. All they needed was me he said.
My art is my love, and will keep me far too busy to dream or being a rockstar, but it will be alot of fun again. And it will feel like me again more often, untill it become the norm again. Im so happy.
iggy:
Whoa that is crazy. But I am glad you had a good time and are happy. Its been too long since you have been happy.
111111111yennabear:
so what did Jess say????