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i can't bring myself to express the utter devastation and blessed bliss that these past days have become for me.
My hero still breathes but they're few and far between ,
he has fought an amazing and heroic battle these past weeks
the medical staff tells me he's an exceptional case of survival, poise, patience and lucidity.
He has his small family of three...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
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update for friday late afternoon
my hero holds on for a few more breaths
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I only have a few moments to type this out.
There is a wonderful sweetie who brought me over her laptop so we could do some intrawebbing from my post.
My dad fought like a warrior and regained enough strength to be considered stable enough to be...
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update for friday late afternoon
my hero holds on for a few more breaths
=========================
I only have a few moments to type this out.
There is a wonderful sweetie who brought me over her laptop so we could do some intrawebbing from my post.
My dad fought like a warrior and regained enough strength to be considered stable enough to be...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
kelt9:
What a terrible time you're going through. I did much the same thing with my mom a few years back when she had a ruptured colon. I (and her docs) thought she wasn't going to make it and was spending all my time in the ICU waiting room just living for the next 2 hours to go by so I could get another glimpse of her. I had no place to shower or sleep and practiced qi gong just to keep myself alert and going.
Later, when she was released to a normal room I would keep awake with the old ninja practice of counting: 1: 1,2; 1,2,3: 1,2,3,4: 1,2,3,4,5: ... and so on to 9 where you snap yourself awake before your mind wants to go to '10' but then you must start at '1'. I had no money to eat, so I rationed my meals to one a day.
She was quite out of her mind and lost in the battle for life... on support machines for 10 days. They drew breath for her and drained out the awful contaminants in her body. I got so used to coming in and checking her blood oxygen level, heart rate, etc. She had an colostomy (later reversed), and when I brought her home I had to feed her through a stomach tube and change her colostomy bag. She was so ashamed to have me do these things for her, but I said "Well, you did it for me once when I was an baby, now I'm paying you back a little." It was awful and several months before she was herself again.
I'm very sorry to hear that your pop probably won't make it. I suppose you can only hold on to someone so long as their mortal shell can last. I'm sure your energy work will soothe his transition even if it wont prevent the inevitable. My heart goes out to you and him.
Thanks much for the kind words on my sweet lil Lucy. It's amazing you took the time out of your own troubles to comment. I miss her dearly and blame myself as I blame myself for the death of my best rat buddy, Lenore. I have one left now, Luna, and I won't be getting more. I can't take the heartbreak of having such engaging and intelligent friends die every year or so. Rats are wonderful pets but very fragile in their health: prone to lumps and colds. Ah... I'm rambling.
Be strong and hang in there with your pop. I hate to see such a pair parted.
Later, when she was released to a normal room I would keep awake with the old ninja practice of counting: 1: 1,2; 1,2,3: 1,2,3,4: 1,2,3,4,5: ... and so on to 9 where you snap yourself awake before your mind wants to go to '10' but then you must start at '1'. I had no money to eat, so I rationed my meals to one a day.
She was quite out of her mind and lost in the battle for life... on support machines for 10 days. They drew breath for her and drained out the awful contaminants in her body. I got so used to coming in and checking her blood oxygen level, heart rate, etc. She had an colostomy (later reversed), and when I brought her home I had to feed her through a stomach tube and change her colostomy bag. She was so ashamed to have me do these things for her, but I said "Well, you did it for me once when I was an baby, now I'm paying you back a little." It was awful and several months before she was herself again.
I'm very sorry to hear that your pop probably won't make it. I suppose you can only hold on to someone so long as their mortal shell can last. I'm sure your energy work will soothe his transition even if it wont prevent the inevitable. My heart goes out to you and him.
Thanks much for the kind words on my sweet lil Lucy. It's amazing you took the time out of your own troubles to comment. I miss her dearly and blame myself as I blame myself for the death of my best rat buddy, Lenore. I have one left now, Luna, and I won't be getting more. I can't take the heartbreak of having such engaging and intelligent friends die every year or so. Rats are wonderful pets but very fragile in their health: prone to lumps and colds. Ah... I'm rambling.
Be strong and hang in there with your pop. I hate to see such a pair parted.
marieceleste:
Darling get some sleep. You must look after yourself. More later honey. xxx
this is a repost of what I posted on the SG boards,
in the SGAZ groupit's concerning my need for some sense of what to do in a very troubling situation...
in the midst of all the tragedy that has befallen my family while my hero withers away in breathless demise in the ICU...
I have befriended and given overnight refuge to a blind, nearly...
Read More
in the SGAZ groupit's concerning my need for some sense of what to do in a very troubling situation...
in the midst of all the tragedy that has befallen my family while my hero withers away in breathless demise in the ICU...
I have befriended and given overnight refuge to a blind, nearly...
Read More
squishylizards:
here in tucson we have a free mental health clinic that also assists with substance abuse problems and they are always wonderful at assisting people/pointing them in the right direction towards other programs that could be of help, and they do a pretty good job of getting through the red tape.
i looked and could not find any sort of link to a program in your area, but i'm sure there is one.
here is the site for southern az, for what it's worth,.
i guess this isn't a ton of help, but i had to try.
there has got to be something out there. i'm going to keep looking. i'm sorry that you are going through such a tough time right now.random resources and the like from AZ DES.
and thank you for the flower.
i looked and could not find any sort of link to a program in your area, but i'm sure there is one.
here is the site for southern az, for what it's worth,.
i guess this isn't a ton of help, but i had to try.
there has got to be something out there. i'm going to keep looking. i'm sorry that you are going through such a tough time right now.random resources and the like from AZ DES.
and thank you for the flower.
hello one short time again my beloved friends...
I am back home friom ICU and I want to thank everyone who has posted comment or sent me a supportive e-mail...
I just couldn't bear to see that last mornful wail of a dirge be what all of you have to deal with if you wish to send me comment...
My Father is an amazing warrior......
Read More
I am back home friom ICU and I want to thank everyone who has posted comment or sent me a supportive e-mail...
I just couldn't bear to see that last mornful wail of a dirge be what all of you have to deal with if you wish to send me comment...
My Father is an amazing warrior......
Read More
zode:
Its obvious your Father is an exceptional Human Being and you have inherited his strength. You have the support of all the SG Community in your time of despair. The essence of life is Hope.
[Edited on Mar 02, 2005 11:53AM]
[Edited on Mar 02, 2005 11:53AM]
I figure i owe you all, my dear SG friends an update at this point....
Without question, this is the worst day/time in my life right now,
my hero is still fighting for breath and life but his struggle shall soon probably be for naught.
When he went in a few weeks ago, we had no idea it would ever become this!!!
I needed a...
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Without question, this is the worst day/time in my life right now,
my hero is still fighting for breath and life but his struggle shall soon probably be for naught.
When he went in a few weeks ago, we had no idea it would ever become this!!!
I needed a...
Read More
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
anuyi:
My dear, that photo is floating around in oblivion on a disc somewhere in the depths of my closet... I will do my best to locate it & post especially for you...
And how funny, your *true love* above looks a bit like me! I am sorry I didn't have the time or decency to make your night sparkle last night, but MY *love* was home and time had to be spent accordingly...
I hope that some point soon I shall have a chance to sit and write you something long & meaningful. Until then, you are in my heart.
I do not use our *other* space quite as much, being my time is taken with small child & the lovely ladies of SG. I feel a bit more special here... so always email me and always post to Anuyi
And how funny, your *true love* above looks a bit like me! I am sorry I didn't have the time or decency to make your night sparkle last night, but MY *love* was home and time had to be spent accordingly...
I hope that some point soon I shall have a chance to sit and write you something long & meaningful. Until then, you are in my heart.
I do not use our *other* space quite as much, being my time is taken with small child & the lovely ladies of SG. I feel a bit more special here... so always email me and always post to Anuyi
missdates:
I hope that this message finds you well.
It has been some time since preparing for loss and eventually losing someone close to me. This was my Nana, who I would also call my hero because of her wonderful heart and generosity. It has been nearly 10 years since that time, and although the pain is still there, her memory lives through all those she loved and all those that loved her.
Your love for your father is tremendous. His love for you is seen in each one of his spirited smiles in the pictures you have shared here. There is no greater love than a love you can give a child and that love will always be there, even in times of pain. The love he has for you and the love that you have for him, it may not make him well, but it will make him fulfilled. He sounds like such a wonderful man, and that great spirit, his legacy will live through his children, through you.
Your father, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sending 10 million bajillion hugs to you.
It has been some time since preparing for loss and eventually losing someone close to me. This was my Nana, who I would also call my hero because of her wonderful heart and generosity. It has been nearly 10 years since that time, and although the pain is still there, her memory lives through all those she loved and all those that loved her.
Your love for your father is tremendous. His love for you is seen in each one of his spirited smiles in the pictures you have shared here. There is no greater love than a love you can give a child and that love will always be there, even in times of pain. The love he has for you and the love that you have for him, it may not make him well, but it will make him fulfilled. He sounds like such a wonderful man, and that great spirit, his legacy will live through his children, through you.
Your father, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sending 10 million bajillion hugs to you.
You know....
my journal entries have been SOOOOOO
somber and sad lately;
With good reason of course.
The Wisdom I've gained from my Shaolin master and Taoist philosophy in general reminds me that there needs to be a balance in all things, all perspectives.
I bet I've really brought some of you the Blues lately with all
that's been going on with the slow whithering...
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my journal entries have been SOOOOOO
somber and sad lately;
With good reason of course.
The Wisdom I've gained from my Shaolin master and Taoist philosophy in general reminds me that there needs to be a balance in all things, all perspectives.
I bet I've really brought some of you the Blues lately with all
that's been going on with the slow whithering...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 34 COMMENTS
esther:
I thought that it was absolutely wonderful that you showed up at the SFP. And even better, how you handed out roses to the gentlemen to give to their ladies. I let my lady keep his (tee hee!)
It's good to know you're in better spirits. Keep us up on how you are doing.
xo
It's good to know you're in better spirits. Keep us up on how you are doing.
xo
thedarkness:
It as great to finally put the face with the name. My wife thanks you for the rose, very nice touch.
As for your Father, I am sorry to hear that his time is short and I know that he will remember that you were there for him and that he will always love you.
As for your Father, I am sorry to hear that his time is short and I know that he will remember that you were there for him and that he will always love you.
WED. night... 2/23
late...
the rain pours over me and I don't care any more
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He's worse....
he's more fragile and fearful than ever...
I'm numb and delerious and in a strange dreamworld nowadays...
He wants his living will updated..
it's all he can focus on now.
That's the only bright spot we can hold onto...
Ironic that his thoughts of his own death...
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late...
the rain pours over me and I don't care any more
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He's worse....
he's more fragile and fearful than ever...
I'm numb and delerious and in a strange dreamworld nowadays...
He wants his living will updated..
it's all he can focus on now.
That's the only bright spot we can hold onto...
Ironic that his thoughts of his own death...
Read More
VIEW 25 of 46 COMMENTS
ladyexxa:
awwwww great gatsby, how i want to mush you into a hug.
heartyou:
I've been reading your updates everyday and I'm sorry to hear his health is getting worse.
Found myself a really handsome guy whom I flirted with all night. We'll probably see each other for a few weeks and then I'll get too attached and I'll cry and tell him I never want to see him again. I'm a sucker for heartbreak.
Hopefull I'll see you this weekend!
Found myself a really handsome guy whom I flirted with all night. We'll probably see each other for a few weeks and then I'll get too attached and I'll cry and tell him I never want to see him again. I'm a sucker for heartbreak.
Hopefull I'll see you this weekend!
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Well, this seemed to be quite the catharisis for me!
It's I s'pose a real tearjerker of a journal entry about the declining health of my hero, my dad..
so read it if you'd like...
or just send him kind thoughts of your own..
It helped me get some anxiety out my heart and that's what these journals are for in certain circustances right?!?!...
Read More
Well, this seemed to be quite the catharisis for me!
It's I s'pose a real tearjerker of a journal entry about the declining health of my hero, my dad..
so read it if you'd like...
or just send him kind thoughts of your own..
It helped me get some anxiety out my heart and that's what these journals are for in certain circustances right?!?!...
Read More
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
marieceleste:
Stay strong, love is all. xxx
esther:
Hey, when's the next Renegades RD bout?
Real quick like since I've only a few minutes on here...
I figure I should update all my dear SG friends on the status of my hospitalized dad, my hero, my fine example of a true Gentleman , and the toughest son of a gun I know when the Reaper seems to have him by the throat.
He's not giving up the ghost just yet!...
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I figure I should update all my dear SG friends on the status of my hospitalized dad, my hero, my fine example of a true Gentleman , and the toughest son of a gun I know when the Reaper seems to have him by the throat.
He's not giving up the ghost just yet!...
Read More
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
derivation:
Hope your dad is feeling better.
swiss_miss:
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I better see you on friday!
I will be giving you two hugs: one for you and one for your dad. he's in all of our prayers and thoughts, and we wish nothing short of worldly blessings for you both.
miss you X 3248390842938
Love,
Chrissy (the swiss mistress)
I better see you on friday!
I will be giving you two hugs: one for you and one for your dad. he's in all of our prayers and thoughts, and we wish nothing short of worldly blessings for you both.
miss you X 3248390842938
Love,
Chrissy (the swiss mistress)
VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
kizmet:
Happy valentines love!...Muwaaah!!!..
Happy valentines love!...Muwaaah!!!..
tigerlily:
happy love day!!!
It has been exactly two months today that I lost my Nana from cancer.
I know how much pain you are feeling.
*hugs*