*written at about 1:15 in the morning*
I just had the worst nightmare, and am now a bit shaken and can't seem to get back to sleep. I thought that writing about it might help me calm down. Even so, I think that I might be puting a light on in my bedroom all night, just to be on the safe side.
I dreamt that I was back home and it was just this time of year. My sister had dissapeared, and I was afraid that she was dead. Somehow or another I became sure that the body of some girl was sunk deep in either the kick by my house; a body which had been there for some time. I'm not sure if the girl herself was 'evil' or connected to evil somehow, but I had this compulsion to dive and either see the body or drag it up I kept doing this, over and over, going from one place or another; the water was dark and murky, and I kept catching a glimpse of something but I was never sure what it was. The compulsion got worst and, somehow, I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't stop; worse yet it had become a ritual. At the end, I'm diving one last time and in my mind I'm singing this horrid song, like an old gospel song only darker, while swimming through the water. To make matters worse, I wope up and that song was still running through my mind.
*shudders*
So, any ideas as to an interpation? In Jundian archetypes, water usually means the subconcious which I am constantly diving into to catch a glipse of something. The water is murky, cloudy and bad. Somehow the dark feminine was tied into it; the body was female and the term 'Blair Witch' appeared somehow, which is what my mind has labeled the dark feminine ever since I saw that movie in High School (my subconcious is geeky, apparently). Death was pretty evident; it was fall, I was diving to find a body, etc etc.
I don't know, maybe Its to late, but I can't make heads or heels of it all.
I just found out that one of my students is horribly suicidal; that one of his friends and a cousin had to wrestle a gun away from him several days ago. The poor kid hasn't been in school all week, and now i find out about this; I'm actually pretty worried about him.
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My new project is about grieving and gender construction in late medieval England.