Today is a personal landmark I call "1000 days since I last said I love you." An even 1000 days since the separation started. Along the way, the "trial" separation would become permanent, fix-up attempts would go disasterously wrong, and I would remain alone for the entire 1000 days. And counting.
In my dream, I held her close. She was warm, like I remember another being so very long ago. She snuggled into me, my arms wrapped around her, and she said those words I'd been longing to hear: "I love you." I was stunned. So stunned I made her repeat the words twice before I'd believe that I heard them. And I told her I loved her too, and... I was happy. So brilliantly happy. Warmth spread through me, like a star had been lit in my heart, and I lay there, feeling happiness like i've not known in years wash over me...
And then I woke up. Just a little. Just enough to know I had dreamt it, and, more importantly, that it was a lie. She doesn't love me, and probably won't. And the happiness was gone, leaving behind the memory to taunt me through the day.
Plus my toilet's leaking. That's two nights running it's soaked my bath mat. I tell you what, I don't know how much longer I can deal with this shit. We're talking complete and total emotional breakdown, probably by the end of the day, which I will greet by drinking myself into an alcoholic coma. Won't this be fun.
Sorry, everybody... I'll try to talk about puppets or something cheerier next time, 'kay?
-Danny G
"I don't have a drinking problem, I have a drinking solution."
-Caleb Walsh
(one of mine again, FYI)
In my dream, I held her close. She was warm, like I remember another being so very long ago. She snuggled into me, my arms wrapped around her, and she said those words I'd been longing to hear: "I love you." I was stunned. So stunned I made her repeat the words twice before I'd believe that I heard them. And I told her I loved her too, and... I was happy. So brilliantly happy. Warmth spread through me, like a star had been lit in my heart, and I lay there, feeling happiness like i've not known in years wash over me...
And then I woke up. Just a little. Just enough to know I had dreamt it, and, more importantly, that it was a lie. She doesn't love me, and probably won't. And the happiness was gone, leaving behind the memory to taunt me through the day.
Plus my toilet's leaking. That's two nights running it's soaked my bath mat. I tell you what, I don't know how much longer I can deal with this shit. We're talking complete and total emotional breakdown, probably by the end of the day, which I will greet by drinking myself into an alcoholic coma. Won't this be fun.
Sorry, everybody... I'll try to talk about puppets or something cheerier next time, 'kay?
-Danny G
"I don't have a drinking problem, I have a drinking solution."
-Caleb Walsh
(one of mine again, FYI)
Kisses