dandoles

Every day it's the same thing. I sit, I eat, I smoke and feel like ending it all.
I know it's not the proper thing to think about but the day you can control how you feel and how you think is the day you should be gone.
These are supposed to be the best years of my life. Who the hell are people kidding.
The last time I was truly happy was years ago when I had a family and now the only thing I have is heartache and stress.
I try to be happy but who am I kidding, happiness is for those other people that have friends and true loved ones.
Many years ago my parents told me that it seemed to them that my purpose in life was to protect.
So that's what I do, I protect my friends, family and loved ones but it seems like the more people I protect the lonelier I become.
I try and protect my best friend and I become the guy that will be there for her but only when she feels really lonely.
I don't know if that's how it truly is but that is how it feels to me and who knows I might just be a total dumbass.
Who know maybe I should just leave and just keep on moving. The more you move the less time you have to make friends and find people to care about. Which means less people you have to worry about letting you down.



Who knows maybe it's better for everyone. Then again I have been down that road and I think that would make too many people happy. Why should others be happy when I can't?